Keep it up Lohan!

So, Lindsay Lohan has decided to rip on Sarah Palin. Fantastic! Since NO ONE cares what you "think", the only good you are doing is possibly causing people to vote for her, since AMERICA HATES YOU! (I know...not a great reason to vote, but if AJ Prjhejklnasdski came out in support of McCain, I'd have to think twice).

It's like Kid Rock said:

I think celebrity endorsements hurt politicians. Because as soon as somebody comes out for a politician, especially in Hollywood, when they all go, "I'm voting for this guy!" -- I go, "That's not who I'm voting for!"

It works in the opposite direction too. Thanks Lindsay!

Aquafresh...now for Dummies...

Now, Alison and I bought this tube of toothpaste the other day, you know...for its "2x Whitening" power. Which is why I assume most people bought it. However, look in the upper left corner...

"NOW with whitening"

Now? Now with whitening? What the B was it before? It's 2x Whitening! Was it just 2x before? And it's not like they said "Now with MORE whitening". No. Just Now with Whitening. Idiots.

You can't trick people into coming to Church...

Nice try...

*thanks to Devo for the picure*

Ken Rosenthal is a POS...

Wow...Ken Rosenthal is at it again. He's dedicated yet another column to how much he doesn't like Mark McGwire. http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/8547420?MSNHPHMA

We get it. You're an idiot, but I understand you have a point of view. Do you have to write the same article on a monthly basis though? Cripes.

I hope Rosenthal gets hit in the face with a steroid...

Chrome is sassy!

So, I downloaded Google's new browser and I was trying to find some directions when there was an error and the following came up:

Don't you sass me Google, or you'll get the boot to the crotch. You think I kid? Test me. Test me Google.

So...

The Union Pen Company is trying to woo me and Standard Merit into buying our holiday pens from them. Little do they know that the odds of us purchasing holiday pens are 7...

7 in a gagillion, of course. Though the sample they sent me was quasi-nice...

Really?

So, I'm selling all my old CD's on Half.com and here's what I just sold:

59.99 for a Fat Boys CD??? AWESOME!!

Nice socks C. Webb...

Tan. Snazzy...

Worst Book Ever!!!

So, I'm walking down the aisle at Target and I see what is, without a doubt, the worst book EVER!

What kind of person, in their right mind, would buy this douchey tool's book? No one. You have to be an a-hole to listen to this guy, much less spend money on his book. Seriously...you might as well buy this at the same time as the following:

Ahhh...weight loss advice from a fat man and election advice from a moron. Can the world get any better??

HYPER losers!

So, you know that party I talked about that no one RSVPed for? Well, eventually, 12 people said they were coming.

Then, the night came, and 5 people "thought it was Sunday, not Saturday." So, almost half the people didn't come.

My point? Apparently...I suck...