Subaru

So, I was at Costco, getting gas, when I heard some lady go by some guy who had a bumper sticker on his Subaru and I hear her say, "I love your bumper sticker. I love your car."

Really...he has an Obama bumper sticker and a Subaru. The election is over...and he has a Subaru. I don't have my Steve Forbes bumper sticker on my car anymore...bumper stickers are lame. And, again, Subaru's are lame.

Come to think of it...this woman was probably lame...

How many is too many?

I was at Target yesterday, in the Express Lane (10 items or less) and the guy in front of me had 19 items, a coupon that didn't work and he argued about the price of asparagus (and pulled out the mailer he received to prove his point). Then, he looked at my two items (a calculator and cookies) and said, "Aww...you just wanted a snack and you got stuck behind me. A-huh-huh."

And then I cyber-chopped him in the face...

Good news!

Apparently, my taxes on my house are going down a ton next season. The bad news...obviously, my house is worth a ton less. Either way...I don't want to get another cat. 3 is more than enough.

Guess how many?

Well, I think I made the most trips I've ever made to a single store in a day before on Sunday. I ended up going to Cub three times. I know...I know...maybe I could figure out what I needed and only make 1 trip. But then what would I have to talk about? That's right...nothing. That was a big part of the excitement on Sunday. Jealous much?

I figured it out...

I've figured out the imbecile litmus test. Strangely enough, it was because of Drew Carey and the Price is Right.

If you are the first person of four to guess the price for an item and your guess is one dollar, that means you're an imbecile. If you can't figure out the meaning behind the one dollar wager on the Price is Right and when to use it, you might as well just give up right now. Because, odds are, not only will life be too hard for you...breathing will most likely be too hard for you...

Sidenote: I bet it stung a bit when the fourth person bet two dollars, didn't it? End Sidenote

I'm an idiot...

This made me laugh as hard as I've laughed at anything in a long time...

It was a good run...

Well, my visitors to the site looking for naked pictures of Betty White have started to turn into a trickle. From a high of 93 visitors, we're down to around 20 a day. Since I assume no one was coming to the site twice to look for nudie Betty White pictures that aren't there, we're looking at at least 470 different people who came here, trying to find some Betty White skin.

I don't really know what to do with that. Should I be impressed? Sad? Weirded out? I think, mostly, I'm weirded out. Though I guess I can't imagine some of the searches some of the mutants of this world make...so I guess there are tons that would be weirder and worse than this...

Still though...I wonder how many are looking for current naked pictures of Betty White. I'm guessing at least 1%. That means at least 4 people came on here looking for current nude pictures of Betty White.

And that, that my friends, is where everyone needs to draw the line. I just shuddered a little. Blech...

Precious...the Comedy?

So, Alison and I were in the mood for something funny to watch, so we went out on amazon, through our TiVo and tried to find a comedy.

There was talk about this movie Precious at the Oscars, but I didn't hear much about it. However, after looking at it on there, we decided to download it, since it was in the comedy genre. Plus, I love Kurtwood Smith.

However, once we started watching it, it seemed like it might have been mislabeled. I mean, sure, there were funny parts, but throwing a baby on the ground is not really my brand of humor. I like puke jokes more (you keep going Daniel Tosh). Plus, unless Kurtwood Smith was playing the teacher in drag (yes...that's how I picture him in drag...yes, I picture Kurtwood Smith in drag...don't act like you don't), I don't think he was in the movie.

All in all, I give it 3 stars as a movie (out of 5), however, I only give it 1 star as a comedy. However, I was happy that Queen Latifah won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar. She really deserved it.

sidenote: It took me about 20 tries to get a good picture of the screen and Alison was about ready to gut me with a spoon by the time I was done. I hope it was worth it! end sidenote

4 times...

I was at Target yesterday and the checkout lady double swiped 4 different items. 4! She'd swipe it once, it would beep, then she'd accidentally swipe it again. With 4 different items. And each time, she'd look at me and smile and go "Oh".

So, what was the deal with that? Was she trying to see how many times she could do it before I said something? Was she nervous? Why in the world would that happen? I just do not get it...

Strange plaque...

So, I was over at Alison's parents house and I was leafing through the Signals catalog, when I saw the plaque on the right.

Now, all the underlining in red was done by me, to easily point out what I'm talking about.

As you can see, it's a bunch of things, saying that you are blank to my blank, meaning you complete the first blank with whatever the second blank is. Nice. Simple. Whatever. Not something I would buy (because I already have 3! Psych. Bringing it back. Ignore me. Forget these last sentences).

So, anyway, all of them say, blank TO my blank. All of them. Except the last one. It says the blank ON my blank. Why? WHY?

Did they get to the end and forgot what they'd said on all the other ones? Seriously, you get that far on that tacky knickknack and then you mess it up at the end? Seriously, the one old cat lady who buys this thing is going to be PO'd when she realizing what they've done!

Does anyone have a good explanation for this? It astounded me. And, not surprisingly, Alison and her mom both thought I was an idiot with too much time on my hands to even bring it up. And they are for sure at least a quarter right.