Mr. Wizard...

Two days ago, Alison and I went to the Melting Pot in Minneapolis to celebrate our anniversary. We were looking forward to some good food and a fun time. Little did we know we'd be privy to some riveting insight from the table next to us. Here is roughly how their conversation went (though there were various loud swear words thrown in throughout their other conversations, they kept this portion relatively clean)

Moron #1: Man, he wasn't near as good as us.
Moron #2: We were the top sales people. I don't know how he's in charge of that company now.
Mr . Wizard: Well, I know of a little secret to catch him and put us on top again.
Moron #1: Really? What?
Mr. Wizard: Well, I don't know if you've heard about this new thing. It's called the "internet". And, you can "advertise" on this "internet" on things called "search engines". Then, you can pay a company to have your information come up when someone "searches" for certain words on this "search engine". And get this. The beauty is, you only pay if someone "clicks" on your "site". How about that? It's true! I got it all in a book. I can show it to you if you like. I have an interview with the board of directors at Argeson tomorrow. I think I might reveal a bit of what I told you tonight, so they know I'm serious about the job.
Brent: I hear they're putting the internet on computers now.
Mr. Wizard: (looks to his moronic friends and covers his mouth with his forefinger in the "shhh" motion)
Waitress: Will that be it for you folks tonight?
Mr. Wizard: How about you split the bill three ways, then we can put it on three cards and we all had a business meeting tonight! (looks towards his friends and laughs heartily)
Moron #1 and Moron #2: (join in on the uproarious laughter)

I really don't have any words to explain just how brilliant this man was.

He can't compete with me physically, and I'm no match for his brains. Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Morons.