Hair Restoration Institute

I was watching Sportscenter, so it was not TiVo'd; this means that I got roped into watching commercials. Which means I was unhappy, like George Bush when he lost the bet and was forced to jump out of Richard Simmons birthday cake (true story!).

However, I saw a commercial that made me think back to how dumb those Bowflex commercials are (you can use up to 400 pounds of resistance... or more).

So, I was watching a commercial for the Hair Restoration Institute and some chick who used to be bald was yammering on about how great the institute was and they gave her a beautiful Chia head, or something like that. I really wasn't paying attention, as I was distracted by my fist punching my mouth.

Anyhoo, what caught my attention was the following:

The Hair Restoration Institute offers so many options; from surgical to non-surgical.

Um...hello genius! Are you serious? Do you know what the definition of "so many" is? I'll tell you what it isn't...it isn't two. Can you imagine going to a restaraunt and they give you the wine list and it contains two wines?

Waiter: Which wine can I get you sire?
Customer: Jeez damn! Are you frackin' kidding me?? Two options? That's so many!! I don't know what to do. I'm in a quandary here. I've never been faced with so many options! I can either go white...or red. Butt spokes!! Give me some time. I'm going to have to weigh all these options here and see which is suitable. Crip! Give me 45 minutes or so. I'm going to get out a piece of paper and list all the reasons one of the options is good on one side, then I'll make a list of the reasons all the other options are good on the other side. Might want to grab a chair friend, 'cause it's gonna be awhile.
Waiter: Of course. I expect nothing less, what with so many options. We have beds in back if you need to take a break while noodling through the plethora of options.

Gosh, I especially hate people, but I especially hate stupid people.