Bachelor Party I - Vegas

Ahhh...I'm now back from Bachelor Party I - Vegas. You may be wondering how I have recovered so quickly. It may have something to do with going to bed at 9:30 each night, it may not. I guess we'll never know. Alas...here are the pertinent details that you are all wondering about:

Participants:

1. Brent
2. Rob (yes, I put myself in front of you...deal with it)
3. Hart (I always call him Andy, but I know that's not his name)
4. Hart II (this is Andy's brother)
5. Kellett (sorry, nothing clever)
6. "Shorts" (who gave his phone number to a chick with a tattoo of a snake on her neck...and her stomach...and her chest...niiiiiice)
7. James (again, nothing clever)
8. Devo (destroyed Jim Beam)
9. Eric (claimed to destroy Jim Beam)
10. Petredis (destroyed Garth Brooks)
11. Greg (appeared with extra Jack Daniel's...a godsend at the time)
12. Urban (I'm pretty sure I made fun of his birds, but I don't know for sure...)

The Events

Thursday

• The arrival started off poorly. First, I had to ride on a plane, and I hate planes. Plus, I had to sit next to Gordo Mojito (which is what I called him). He couldn't put his tray down, or the armrests, or fit into orbit, if he was launched up there. Very few humans are bigger than that. I'm just sayin'.
• So, then I landed and the cheapness came out of me and I took the $5.50 shuttle instead of the $14 cab. And, an hour and a half later, I was at the Flamingo. At least they had the heat on in the shuttle. I mean, it was only 107 out...might as well have it as 114 in the shuttle. Damn it.
• Then, I found my way over to Bally's, where James, Petredis and I enjoyed the buffet. However, the price had skyrocketed 2 dollars in the past 2 years (stupid inflation). I consumed my regular buffet of a plate of meat, plate of meat, three desserts, three desserts, and an additional three desserts.
• This was followed by heading to the room and starting to consume the whiskey. Luckily, I decided to have Eric bring two kinds of whiskey (Jack and Jim) since no one else would say what they want, and Captain is very 90's...
• After drinking, we decided to leave the room when everyone was there and some of us went to the Imperial Palace for cheap blackjack. Which is where I went. And lost $100 to Garth Brooks at the table. I hate him more than Susie.

Friday

• After some people ate breakfast (I didn't), we decided to go to the pool.
• At the pool, I walked over to the slide, only to realize I felt like I was on To Catch a Perv. So, I left there. And, played some water H.O.R.S.E.
• Turns out, I'm a phenom at water H.O.R.S.E. And it was domination.
• Then, we went back to the room to consume more whiskey.
• Eventually, we went to the Flamingo buffet.
• I couldn't eat as much as normal, which made me sad.
• After going back to the room for a quick np, it was morning. 9:00 bedtime? Check.

Saturday

• After feeling like a losermobile after waking up, Petredis and I went to play poker.
• Petredis lost his $100 on thw swift, though the guy who won it got lucky.
• The wasted guy next to me won about $1,200 while I lost my money. Not good times. But he was more wasted than a Russian at the Kitty Kat Klub. You know what I'm talking about.
• After that, we decided to bet on some baseball. I made my picks and bet $20, on a 4 team parlay. Petredis and Devo copied my picks. I also set up a 7 team parlay for Eric to bet on and he put $10 on it.
• We sat in the sportsbook, waiting for our free drinks to pour in. Alas, you need to bet at least $40 to get one free drink. So, we got none. And got mad. But realized there was still whiskey in the room, so we went there to watch the games.
• The Cubs-Padres game was on and Eric had bet on it. So, we watched that, and the game had a fight in it, and resulted in a 1-0 victory for the Pads. Eric got his first game.
• We then watched the second game of the parlay, and watched the Angels beat the Dodgers. 2 for 2.
• We proceeded to watch the White Sox-Pirates game, after hearing the Blue Jays won (which we all bet on). The Sox won, and soon, all the whiskey was gone, until another bottle magically appeared.
• We then watched the bottom line, to see how the other games were going. Turns out the Diamondbacks won. The 4 team parlays were done and we'd won! Nice!
• Eric saw the bottom line and the Reds won so he was 6 for 6. We decided to go to the sports book to watch the final game.
• While I was wasted, we saw updates on the final game and the cards dominated the A's. Which meant Eric lost his parlay. And I had really wanted to bet on the Brewers over Twins instead, but didn't want to feel like Hitler, so didn't. Damn it!
• Then, I ended up back in the room and went to bed again Bleh.

Sunday

• Ah, the morning and time to leave.
• We woke Petredis up and he was big into brushing his teeth. Very strange.
• Tried to wake James up, but he was having none of it. Apparently, he didn't remember I was in there. Strange.

I'm sorry this update was boring, but Vegas was a great time. Seriously, I would love to go back and do it again. Faaaan-tastic. Thanks for coming everyone!