Fresh Gulf Shrimp...

So, I'm driving down the road the other day. In Minnesota. In the 95 degree heat. And what do I see on the side of the road? A hand made sign that said,

FRESH GULF SHRIMP
$5/LB

and next to the sign were two hillbillies standing next to a van, with many crates of, what I can only guess, were shrimp.

This instantly led to a bunch of questions in my head.

What gulf are they talking about? The Gulf of Mexico? The Gulf of Magellan, if there is such a thing? The Gulf of Johnnies Backyard? And, how in the world can they call it fresh? Did they just fly it in today? And why (WHY!!) was it not on ice? It was just sitting in crates in the 95 degree heat? Seriously?? Is there any chance you weren't going to get sick from eating it? I mean, you may not die, but you may. Is it really worth it? I think we all know the answer to that...