Loser List...

I admit it; most of the time I don't in face root for somebody, I root against somebody. Call it low self-esteem, call it bitterness, call it whatever you want, the fact remains: I much prefer to watch someone fail than I do watching someone do well.

There are certain people that I enjoy watching fail. Of course, I'm always rooting for someone like Jason McElwain, because stories like that give me chills. But what also gives me chills is watching people who I have no respect for, or people who annoy me, fail. In actuality, these moments give me more chills than watching something inspiring, like Jason.

So, to honor this moment of self-discovery (after knowing it for years but being afraid to admit it) I am creating my first annual Loser List. This is the list of people who I always root against and nothing brings me more joy than when they fail.

This list is in no way all inclusive, as it is ever evolving. You see, I find new reasons to resent people everyday, so the list can never be complete. So, without further ado, I will give you the current top 5 on the Loser List. Feel free to let me know the people you love to watch fail...

Loser List Top 5
1. A.J. Pierzynski - This bastard has been on the top of my list for 4 years. I don't think there has ever been a more disgusting, me-first, wang-sucking athlete in the world. The World Series victory by the White Sox last year made me want to puke...all because of this douche.
2. Kina - I can not stand her. Every time they show he on screen, I want to ram a stapler through her ear, to try to get her to shut up. But, since she's a zombie, that would only make her stronger. Seriously, if Randy gets voted off next week, it will make my whole week.
3. Bode Miller - He thinks he's fantastic. I love how lax he got in his training and how he called out Bonds and McGwire as cheats. Great guy. Conveniently forgot to mention about his trips to Mexico for the drugs that are illegal in the U.S. At least when Bonds and McGwire "cheated" they got some awards. Nothing like 8th place, right Bode?
4. Daunte Culpepper - Ahh...a new addition to the list. I can't wait until Jason Taylor and Zach Thomas beat the crap out of him after his 18th interception of the year. Enjoy Miami...enjoy.
5. Stephon Marbury - There's something very satisfying watching him lose. Am I glad the Wolves don't have him? Hell yes, even though we have Marko Polo. I still remember when Marbury requested the trade because he wasn't the best guy on the team. You know the correct way to fix that problem? Practice. It's been fun watching him suck the last couple of seasons...good times...