Dollar Store Dilemma...

So, I'm in Crystal, MN the other day, going to Little Caesar's, praying not to get mugged, when I made an amazing discovery.

In the ghettotastic outdoor mall that houses the Little Caesar's, they have, not one, but two dollar stores.

Now, I know what you're thinking; anyone who goes to the dollar store is probably so lazy that they won't walk all the way across the parking lot to go to a different dollar store, so it makes sense, economically, for there to be two there.

BUT WAIT!!! What I have devilishly hidden from you is the fact that these two dollar stores, which have to compete with each other for business, are right next to each other!!! They share a wall!!!

This would be like putting two Starbucks next to each ot...bad example.

But think about it. Why would someone see a dollar store and decide to compete with it right next door? Why not put it across the street? Is there enough business to support two dollar stores right next to each other? Are dollar stores the wave of the future?

And if this place is, in fact, a dollar store utopia, wouldn't some smart fella come there and start a 99 cent store on the other side? Am I the only one who sees the potential in that? I feel like the frickin' Larry Flynt of Minnesota!

Wait...I mean Stephen Hawking. I always get them confused. Why didn't I just use the backspace and get rid of all of this you ask? Why indeed...

The morals (yes, there are more than one) of this story are:

A) No outdoor mall can support two dollar stores,
2) If, somehow, the stars are aligned and it can, in fact, support two dollar stores, someone needs to start a 99 cent store there. There should be no compromise on that.
D) Everyone is now dumber for having read this. I am awarded no points, and may God have mercy on my soul.

Dag...