***WARNING!!! COARSE LANGUAGE!!!***
I said in my previous post that I would e-mail the person who posted that listing. As expected, the response from him was well reasoned, justified and completely coherent. Read on...
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My first e-mail:
From: Brent Nelson
Subject: GIFT CARD FOR SALE - $80
To: sale-273074806@craigslist.org
Why in the world would someone want to pay $80 to get an $80 credit at a junkyard? I mean, if they wanted something at a junkyard (and I assume most people don't, but that's beside the point), wouldn't they just use their money and buy it? What's the benefit to having a credit? I'm sorry...this makes no sense to me, and is so ridiculous, I just had to find out what the deal is. Thanks!
His first response:
From: abram quito
Subject: Re: GIFT CARD FOR SALE - $80
To: Brent Nelson
i have store credit
i returned something and they said i will have store credit
i said fuck you son of a bitch
i wanted cash so now i am selling this gift card for $80 cash
My second e-mail:
From: Brent Nelson
Subject: Re: GIFT CARD FOR SALE - $80
To: abram quito
Right. I understand that. But, why, if for some reason, I wanted to buy something there, would it be beneficial to use your store credit instead of cash? What's your reasoning?
His second response:
From: abram quito
Subject: Re: GIFT CARD FOR SALE - $80
To: Brent Nelson
i don't shop there anymore
i have a new car and the cars there are old
so i need $80 cash
My third e-mail:
From: Brent Nelson
Subject: Re: GIFT CARD FOR SALE - $80
To: abram quito
Ahhh...I see. So, because you need $80 cash, you think someone else needs a credit at a junkyard worth $80? That makes sense. If it were opposite day. Which it is not. The crux of the situation is you have overpriced your product. Wouldn't it make more sense to try to sell your credit for about $60 instead, therefor allowing both individals to benefit from the transaction?
His third response:
From: abram quito
Subject: Re: GIFT CARD FOR SALE - $80
To: Brent Nelson
oh i get it so u shop at the junkyard
get me a day and i will spent 75 bucks on something
stupid and u pay me $60 cash and u get the card worth $5
deal
if no fuck off then u need a dick slap
STOP MAKING YOURSELF ACT LIKE PEPE LE PUKE
a fucking butthole
My fourth e-mail:
From: Brent Nelson
Subject: Re: GIFT CARD FOR SALE - $80
To: abram quito
That's about the most incohenernt rant I've ever read. If that was your goal...congratulations. If not...well...I don't know what to say. I wish you the best of luck trying to get $80 for your junkyard credit of $80. I think you have a gold mine on your hand...
His fourth response:
From: abram quito
Subject: Re: GIFT CARD FOR SALE - $80
To: Brent Nelson
hey me is a hustla got 2 make my dough
in this fuckin' business ya know wha i'ms sayin'
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Yes...yes I think we all know what you're saying. Possibly that you're an idiot...
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Craigslist post...
Now, I enjoy looking on Craigslist for merchandise. It's fun being able to find a deal. Also, there is a whole society of weirdos and freaks (aka...freado's) that post about their stuff on there. The following is an example:
GIFT CARD FOR SALE - $80
Reply to: sale-273074806@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-02-03, 8:47PM CSTA
GIFT CARD WORTH $80 FOR UPULLRPARTS JUNKYARD IN ROSEMOUNT AND EAST BETHEL YOU PAY ME $80 CASH AND U GET THE GIFT CARD WORTH $80 FOR STORE CREDIT FOR UPULLRPARTS JUNKYARD THIS IS NOT A SCAM I GOT RECIEPT TO PROVE VALUE WILL DELIVER IN SOUTH MINNEAPOLIS AREA
Now, who in their right mind would do this? I mean, seriously...who would trade $80 cash for $80 credit at a junkyard?? And this poster is acting like this is a great deal and it must be a scam it'so good? You just know some other freado out there is going to sit back and think this is a great deal. Heck, they'll probably even offer $85 to get the $80 credit at the junkyard...stupid as people are. It makes me mad that this person thinks this is a good deal, and it makes me madder that someone will agree with them and take them up on it. I think I'm going to e-mail them about how dumb this is. I will report back with the results...
GIFT CARD FOR SALE - $80
Reply to: sale-273074806@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-02-03, 8:47PM CSTA
GIFT CARD WORTH $80 FOR UPULLRPARTS JUNKYARD IN ROSEMOUNT AND EAST BETHEL YOU PAY ME $80 CASH AND U GET THE GIFT CARD WORTH $80 FOR STORE CREDIT FOR UPULLRPARTS JUNKYARD THIS IS NOT A SCAM I GOT RECIEPT TO PROVE VALUE WILL DELIVER IN SOUTH MINNEAPOLIS AREA
Now, who in their right mind would do this? I mean, seriously...who would trade $80 cash for $80 credit at a junkyard?? And this poster is acting like this is a great deal and it must be a scam it'so good? You just know some other freado out there is going to sit back and think this is a great deal. Heck, they'll probably even offer $85 to get the $80 credit at the junkyard...stupid as people are. It makes me mad that this person thinks this is a good deal, and it makes me madder that someone will agree with them and take them up on it. I think I'm going to e-mail them about how dumb this is. I will report back with the results...
Saturday, January 20, 2007
The Run-in...
Alison and I sat down at Maynard's, up in Rogers, all ready for a delicious meal. I sat facing the south, but Alison asked if we could switch sides. Being the gentleman that I am, I of course didn't care. So, we switched.
I looked past Alison, and saw a guy who looked familiar. He looked like a guy who would have tons of lame jokes. But, I couldn't quite place him. I looked next to him and his wife was sitting with him. His wife's eyes met mine and that's when my recognition bell went off. Crups!! I hope she doesn't recognize me.
Alas, she did. She started waving the napkin towards me and yelling, "Brent! Brent! Order the combo burger Brent!!" It was very reminiscent of when I was 15 and she was yelling at my baseball team while waving an oversized, novelty blanket, during a tournament, "Wayzata! Wayzata! Get in the shade Wayzata!"
I hope someone who gets this actually still reads my craptacular blog...
I looked past Alison, and saw a guy who looked familiar. He looked like a guy who would have tons of lame jokes. But, I couldn't quite place him. I looked next to him and his wife was sitting with him. His wife's eyes met mine and that's when my recognition bell went off. Crups!! I hope she doesn't recognize me.
Alas, she did. She started waving the napkin towards me and yelling, "Brent! Brent! Order the combo burger Brent!!" It was very reminiscent of when I was 15 and she was yelling at my baseball team while waving an oversized, novelty blanket, during a tournament, "Wayzata! Wayzata! Get in the shade Wayzata!"
I hope someone who gets this actually still reads my craptacular blog...
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
BOOM!!!
Yep, that's the sound of a frozen bottle of Sprite Zero, taken from outside, and then left in a warmer garage. Uh-huh. I know. I'm a moron...
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Asinine...
OK, a resounding amount of writer's did not vote for Mark McGwire to get into the HOF. This was expected, and though the reasoning is asinine, at best, I've come to accept it.
What I can't accept is a douche like Rich Maris saying that McGwire and Bonds should have an asterisk next to their homerun seasons. His reasoning? They cheated to get those records. So, he thinks his dad, Roger Maris, should have the record back.
But back up a second. Didn't Roger Maris take 162 games to hit 61 homers? And Babe Ruth did it in 154? Wasn't that right? So, shouldn't Babe Ruth have the record and Roger Maris have an asterisk?
"But the season was 162 games. There wasn't a rule that said the season was 154 games."
That's right, just like there wasn't a rule that steroids could not be used when McGwire and Bonds broke the record. They were playing within' the rules, just like Maris was playing within'the rules.
To make yet another asinine leap, Babe Ruth shouldn't have the record, since he was doing it against all white competition. He wasn't playing against half of the league, since they were in the Negro leagues. I know it was no fault of his own, he was just going by the rules.
So, if we're following the logic of Rich Maris, there should be no records at all in baseball. If we are banning records for the "Steroid Era", it only makes sense that we ban records from the "Dead Ball Era" the "Live Ball Era", "The Segregtion Era", and "The 162 Game Era".
I mean, fair's fair...right Rich. You stupid crotch.
What I can't accept is a douche like Rich Maris saying that McGwire and Bonds should have an asterisk next to their homerun seasons. His reasoning? They cheated to get those records. So, he thinks his dad, Roger Maris, should have the record back.
But back up a second. Didn't Roger Maris take 162 games to hit 61 homers? And Babe Ruth did it in 154? Wasn't that right? So, shouldn't Babe Ruth have the record and Roger Maris have an asterisk?
"But the season was 162 games. There wasn't a rule that said the season was 154 games."
That's right, just like there wasn't a rule that steroids could not be used when McGwire and Bonds broke the record. They were playing within' the rules, just like Maris was playing within'the rules.
To make yet another asinine leap, Babe Ruth shouldn't have the record, since he was doing it against all white competition. He wasn't playing against half of the league, since they were in the Negro leagues. I know it was no fault of his own, he was just going by the rules.
So, if we're following the logic of Rich Maris, there should be no records at all in baseball. If we are banning records for the "Steroid Era", it only makes sense that we ban records from the "Dead Ball Era" the "Live Ball Era", "The Segregtion Era", and "The 162 Game Era".
I mean, fair's fair...right Rich. You stupid crotch.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Sports Guy and the Waterboy Theory...
Now, as my loyal readers know, my pride and joy is The Waterboy Theory. I have cultivated it from a little sapling (as opposed to a giant sapling), lived with it through all the awkward teen years and have watched it grow into a collassal waste of time...errr theory that only my friends and family use. However, I hope that is all about to change:
In his current re-review of Rocky Balboa, the Sports Guy aka Bill Simmons, explained why people thought the movie was good (everything in bold and italics is taken from ESPN.com)
1. Most people were expecting an epic train wreck and ended up being pleasantly surprised (and relieved) that it wasn't an epic train wreck. That's going to artificially skew any opinion, right? I just can't shake the feeling that everyone who liked the movie was inadvertently grading it on a pronounced curve.
For instance, let's say you have an uncle who became involved with a former stripper who cheated on him, became addicted to crystal meth, kept stealing from him and eventually bankrupted him before she was arrested for trying to run him over with a car. It was such a bad experience that he didn't date anyone else for five years and he's been in therapy the entire time. Then he announces to the family that he's showing up for Christmas with his new girlfriend ... and everyone in the family is completely terrified because he's had such horrible taste with women. What happens? He shows up with a nice enough girl who's friendly and really seems to like him. Maybe she's a C-plus under normal circumstances, but given your uncle's history, she feels like an A-minus and nobody can stop talking about how nice she is. And that's what happened with this last Rocky movie. If "Rocky V" was the crystal meth stripper, then "Rocky Balboa" was the C-plus girlfriend who felt like an A-minus.
Almost two years ago, I blogged about this very phenomenon: The Waterboy Theory. Click on the link to view the Theory if you haven't seen it before.
The general premise is very similar, albeit Simmons swayed from the actual movie and used an analogy. However, I still believe the Sports Guy described, to a T, The Waterboy Theory. I have sent the Sports Guy an e-mail and I hope Mr. Simmons will give credit where credit is due, and relate my theory, and homeless Sports Guy-id-ness, to his readers...
In his current re-review of Rocky Balboa, the Sports Guy aka Bill Simmons, explained why people thought the movie was good (everything in bold and italics is taken from ESPN.com)
1. Most people were expecting an epic train wreck and ended up being pleasantly surprised (and relieved) that it wasn't an epic train wreck. That's going to artificially skew any opinion, right? I just can't shake the feeling that everyone who liked the movie was inadvertently grading it on a pronounced curve.
For instance, let's say you have an uncle who became involved with a former stripper who cheated on him, became addicted to crystal meth, kept stealing from him and eventually bankrupted him before she was arrested for trying to run him over with a car. It was such a bad experience that he didn't date anyone else for five years and he's been in therapy the entire time. Then he announces to the family that he's showing up for Christmas with his new girlfriend ... and everyone in the family is completely terrified because he's had such horrible taste with women. What happens? He shows up with a nice enough girl who's friendly and really seems to like him. Maybe she's a C-plus under normal circumstances, but given your uncle's history, she feels like an A-minus and nobody can stop talking about how nice she is. And that's what happened with this last Rocky movie. If "Rocky V" was the crystal meth stripper, then "Rocky Balboa" was the C-plus girlfriend who felt like an A-minus.
Almost two years ago, I blogged about this very phenomenon: The Waterboy Theory. Click on the link to view the Theory if you haven't seen it before.
The general premise is very similar, albeit Simmons swayed from the actual movie and used an analogy. However, I still believe the Sports Guy described, to a T, The Waterboy Theory. I have sent the Sports Guy an e-mail and I hope Mr. Simmons will give credit where credit is due, and relate my theory, and homeless Sports Guy-id-ness, to his readers...
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Peter King fantasy advice??
OK, I enjoy Peter King. I like MMQB. Here's what I don't like; his fantasy picks. How many times this year has he recommeded Roscoe Parish? I mean...ROSCOE PARRISH!!!! I really need to go back and count.
And then he'll go recommend Peyton Manning. Really...should I start Peyton this week? Good call. So...why does he have a fantasy column? Shouldn't he just stick to the games or am I crazy? Here's some of his "tips" for this week...with my comments following (in red and italics)
4. Steve McNair has thrown two interceptions in the seven weeks Brian Billick has been calling offensive plays for Baltimore. In other words, with Cleveland coming to town, play McNair -- unless you've got Peyton Manning or Drew Brees on your roster. Steve McNair as the number three QB? Really? I mean, Cleveland is bad...but come on. Ever hear of Brady, Palmer or Romo?
5. If you scout the Buffalo Bills, you know the ball's going deep to Lee Evans once or twice every Sunday, minimum. Yet J.P. Losman's still able to get it to him. Moral of the story: Don't be scared off by defensive player of the year Jason Taylor chasing down Losman on Sunday in Orchard Park, play Evans at any cost this week. And if you can slip in Roscoe Parrish, you know how much I like him. Ugh! Again? Roscoe Parish? I mean...he did okay in week 3, but the cat has 17 receptions and 2 TD's for the year. I think I can find a few better people to start than him...
6. Antsy about playing Ben Roethlisberger because of all the receiver problems with the Steelers? Don't be. Not this week, anyway. The Panthers host Ben, and Hines Ward is likely to return after two weeks rehabbing a 'scoped knee. Play Ben, and play Santonio Holmes. I'm not sold on Holmes, but he gets the start against some lousy cornerbacks this week. This isn't that bad, but would you really recommend Santonio Holmes in the week Hines Ward returns from injury? Wouldn't you say Ronald Curry? I mean, he just got elevated to the number 1 receiver.
7. I'll tell who's slumping. David Carr. One TD pass in his last seven games. If you play him, Bruce Gradkowski must be your other quarterback. And what are you doing in the playoffs with David Carr as your guy? The only Texan worth a look this week, with the battered Pats' defense, is battering ram Ron Dayne. Wait...so don't play David Carr!!! Thanks coach. What about Mike Bell?
8. Hmmm. Cincinnati-Indy. Don't be so sure Rudi Johnson will rush for 240. Tony Dungy and defensive coordinator Ron Meeks will put an eighth body down in the box often Monday night -- even if it's softer sub safety Matt Giordano -- to make sure the Bengals running game doesn't gash the Colts like Jacksonville did last week. Is he saying to not start Rudi? Should we also not start Roy Williams because the Packers defense will try to avoid getting shown up by the Detroit offense?
I love Peter King. I really do. But please...do not do a fantasy column next year!!!!
And then he'll go recommend Peyton Manning. Really...should I start Peyton this week? Good call. So...why does he have a fantasy column? Shouldn't he just stick to the games or am I crazy? Here's some of his "tips" for this week...with my comments following (in red and italics)
4. Steve McNair has thrown two interceptions in the seven weeks Brian Billick has been calling offensive plays for Baltimore. In other words, with Cleveland coming to town, play McNair -- unless you've got Peyton Manning or Drew Brees on your roster. Steve McNair as the number three QB? Really? I mean, Cleveland is bad...but come on. Ever hear of Brady, Palmer or Romo?
5. If you scout the Buffalo Bills, you know the ball's going deep to Lee Evans once or twice every Sunday, minimum. Yet J.P. Losman's still able to get it to him. Moral of the story: Don't be scared off by defensive player of the year Jason Taylor chasing down Losman on Sunday in Orchard Park, play Evans at any cost this week. And if you can slip in Roscoe Parrish, you know how much I like him. Ugh! Again? Roscoe Parish? I mean...he did okay in week 3, but the cat has 17 receptions and 2 TD's for the year. I think I can find a few better people to start than him...
6. Antsy about playing Ben Roethlisberger because of all the receiver problems with the Steelers? Don't be. Not this week, anyway. The Panthers host Ben, and Hines Ward is likely to return after two weeks rehabbing a 'scoped knee. Play Ben, and play Santonio Holmes. I'm not sold on Holmes, but he gets the start against some lousy cornerbacks this week. This isn't that bad, but would you really recommend Santonio Holmes in the week Hines Ward returns from injury? Wouldn't you say Ronald Curry? I mean, he just got elevated to the number 1 receiver.
7. I'll tell who's slumping. David Carr. One TD pass in his last seven games. If you play him, Bruce Gradkowski must be your other quarterback. And what are you doing in the playoffs with David Carr as your guy? The only Texan worth a look this week, with the battered Pats' defense, is battering ram Ron Dayne. Wait...so don't play David Carr!!! Thanks coach. What about Mike Bell?
8. Hmmm. Cincinnati-Indy. Don't be so sure Rudi Johnson will rush for 240. Tony Dungy and defensive coordinator Ron Meeks will put an eighth body down in the box often Monday night -- even if it's softer sub safety Matt Giordano -- to make sure the Bengals running game doesn't gash the Colts like Jacksonville did last week. Is he saying to not start Rudi? Should we also not start Roy Williams because the Packers defense will try to avoid getting shown up by the Detroit offense?
I love Peter King. I really do. But please...do not do a fantasy column next year!!!!
Monday, December 11, 2006
Memo...
Note to the lady who is at Lifetime and tells people about laser surgery; just because you have a lab coat on, you are not a doctor. Also...your shirt makes you look like a who-er. FYI. Might want to stick those little nuggets in your backpocket.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
My Daddy Usher...
Begin Scene:
The kitchen of one of Miss Johnson's students. The student, Billy, and his mom, Marinda, are standing around the center island, enjoying Christmas cookies and milk. They're happily putting popcorn on a string to put around their tree while listening to Frosty the Snowman on TV...
Marinda: So, Billy. What's new?
Billy: Nothing too much. When's Usher...I mean Dad, getting home?
Marinda: (looks around nervously) Ummm...so where's your postcard?
Billy: What postcard?
Marinda: The one Miss Johnson sends to all the students.
Billy: I didn't get one! She hates me!!
Billy knocks over his glass of milk and runs to his bedroom in tears, covering his eyes so no one can see him crying due to the crushing nature of realizing Miss Johnson forgot about him.
Marinda: (laughingly) Well...at least that got his mind off the (in air quotes) "Usher situation".
Studio audience laughs uproariously.
End Scene
The kitchen of one of Miss Johnson's students. The student, Billy, and his mom, Marinda, are standing around the center island, enjoying Christmas cookies and milk. They're happily putting popcorn on a string to put around their tree while listening to Frosty the Snowman on TV...
Marinda: So, Billy. What's new?
Billy: Nothing too much. When's Usher...I mean Dad, getting home?
Marinda: (looks around nervously) Ummm...so where's your postcard?
Billy: What postcard?
Marinda: The one Miss Johnson sends to all the students.
Billy: I didn't get one! She hates me!!
Billy knocks over his glass of milk and runs to his bedroom in tears, covering his eyes so no one can see him crying due to the crushing nature of realizing Miss Johnson forgot about him.
Marinda: (laughingly) Well...at least that got his mind off the (in air quotes) "Usher situation".
Studio audience laughs uproariously.
End Scene
Friday, December 01, 2006
The Ruse...
The Setting: The basement of a house. Two people (BN and JP) are sitting down there, waiting to be taken to a dinner that is owed to them. One of the people who owes the dinner (PK) walks in.
BN: About firkin' time Phil. I'm starving.
JP: I could eat glass at this point you crotch.
PK: Funny thing guys. We're not taking you to dinner.
BN: What in the butt are you talking about?
PK: Well, Matt and I talked it over and we don't have much money.
JP: Isn't that your Hummer blocking traffic out there?
PK (looking annoyed): Yeah...whatever. We just don't have the money.
BN: It's like 20 bucks dude. Just don't go to Hollywood Blvd this weekend and you're fine.
PK (looking confused): Well...it's not going to happen. Sorry.
JP passes out from hunger
PK (looks at JP): So...you guys eaten yet?
BN: No douche. We were waiting for you to take us out. I hate you more than poison.
BN: About firkin' time Phil. I'm starving.
JP: I could eat glass at this point you crotch.
PK: Funny thing guys. We're not taking you to dinner.
BN: What in the butt are you talking about?
PK: Well, Matt and I talked it over and we don't have much money.
JP: Isn't that your Hummer blocking traffic out there?
PK (looking annoyed): Yeah...whatever. We just don't have the money.
BN: It's like 20 bucks dude. Just don't go to Hollywood Blvd this weekend and you're fine.
PK (looking confused): Well...it's not going to happen. Sorry.
JP passes out from hunger
PK (looks at JP): So...you guys eaten yet?
BN: No douche. We were waiting for you to take us out. I hate you more than poison.
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