The Waterboy Theory

I think everyone remembers the movie “The Waterboy” starring Adam Sandler. Or, maybe no one remembers the movie “The Waterboy” starring Adam Sandler. That’s how good this movie was. According to the Internet Movie Database, this movie achieved the astronomical rating of 5.4 out of 10. If this movie were a restaurant, it would be Arby’s. Which is about the definition of average. Something you might see once and forget about the next day. And I probably would have forgotten about it, had it not spawned one of the most powerful theories of my generation. Allow me to elaborate.

The Background Behind “The Waterboy Theory”

Allow me to take you back to a simpler time. When the threat of Anthrax was non-existent, OJ Simpson was still looking for the “real killers”, Michael Jackson was still allowed to “play” with young boys at his Neverland Ranch and Britney Spears was still considered innocent to legions of young men. The year, my friends, was 1998.

Another important event happened that probably didn’t play a big part in your life. But from this day forward, the day will live in infamy. On November 6, the Waterboy was released. Millions of young men looked up to their semi-retarded idol, Adam Sandler, to provide them with 90 minutes of spastic comedy that everyone should love. The only problem is, that didn’t happen. We need to delve deeper into this mess. So Velcro up those shoes, because I’m going to let you in on a mind-blowing secret that will never allow you to look at movies the same way again.

The Origin of “The Waterboy Theory” Part 1

On opening night, James Lee and Ben Pavlik decided to take in the movie. As Adam Sandler fans, they went in with high hopes. Coming off the stellar success of Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore, Lee and Pavlik had no doubt that the Waterboy would exceed the laughter produced by the previous two. Unfortunately, they were not aware of the Waterboy Theory and it ended up biting them in the ass.

Since Lee and Pavlik went into the movie assuming it would be an 8 out of 10 like the other Sandler flicks, they were bitterly disappointed with the actuality of the 5.4 rating. You see, they went in with high hopes…and an average return. Hence, they didn’t see it as an average return, they saw it as a bitter disappointment. This, my friends, is part one of the Waterboy Theory.

The Origin of “The Waterboy Theory” Part 2

Now we arrive at part two of the Theory. Part 2 allows the fury of the theory to be unleashed to its maximum potential and create a tsunami of epic proportions! (too soon?)

Upon returning to Anderson Hall, Lee and Pavlik relayed their disappointment to me. I was told awful things about the movie that made me not want to see it all and begin to question all of my world views. But I was living in Oxford, Ohio at the time, and there wasn’t much to do during the day besides go make an appearance in the Kroger's parking lot, so I decided to go give it a shot.

I went into The Waterboy not expecting much. After the bashing it received at the hands of Pavlik and Lee, I wasn’t expecting anything more than a 2 out of 10 for the movie. Talk about low expectations. Lawrence Taylor has a better chance of staying away from crack then this movie had of being an above moderate experience. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into, but then part two of the Theory came into effect. And the results speak for themselves.

I sat through the movie and was very impressed. After going in expecting only a two, I was very happy to get a movie that was a 5.4. That made this movie seem like a classic to me. Hence, the Theory was completed.

The Breakdown of “The Waterboy Theory”

As you can see through this example, the Theory is really simple in retrospect. But no one has really taken the time to look into the detail. When someone goes into something with too high of hopes (through word of mouth, reviews, etc), they are setting themselves up for disappointment. Because something has to be that much better than you were expecting, otherwise it will be a disappointment, as our friends Pavlik and Lee found out.

But Part two of the theory shows that the opposite can be true also. When you go into something with really low expectations, it doesn’t really take much for the event to be better than advertised. As I found out with my viewing of the potential Oscar® classic, The Waterboy.

All three of us saw the same movie, but we didn’t actually see the same movie because of the pre-conceived notions we went in with. This is something to think about the next time the Newspaper says a movie is great and you leave the theatre feeling like the fishing-hat bandit held you up for your 8 dollars.