The Water Fountain

I hopped off the treadmill after a grueling series of 400 meter sprints. My whole body ached and all I could think about as I walked towards the locker room was getting some cool, refreshing water from the water fountain.

Just as I was about to sidle up to the fountain, the Tall Taco stepped in front of me. No big deal, I'll just have to wait a couple of seconds for a drink.

I looked up at the ceiling and started to whistle.

I looked back at the fountain and the Taco was still sipping water. This was going on thiry seconds. Okay...I'm fine. He'll be done in a couple of seconds and then I can fill up my water bottle a bit and aggressively drink it; Dynamite style.

I looked back over my shoulder and noticed the line starting to form behind me. I made eye contact with the lady behind me and shrugged my shoulders as if to say, "I don't know what's wrong with him, but the ocean called and it wants all its water back."

She identified with my plight and gave me the sympathetic head tilt. I responded with the "I'm OK" head bob.

If drinking were people, he'd be China! I didn't want to say anything to the Taco, but the fact remains...

The Taco was still drinking! It had been over a minute! Was this ever going to end? This was beginning to feel like Batman & Robin. I didn't know whether to kick him in the bottom, yell at him or just fall to the floor in tears.

Finally, he leaned back and wiped off his mouth. He was done.

"So...how was the trip across the Gobi?"

"Huh?"

"You must have been quite parched from your trek across the Gobi Desert to require such a long time at the water fountain. I hope you found interesting artifacts and had a superior time, because everyone in line here hates your guts and probably wouldn't brake if they see you in a crosswalk. But I bet that was some goooooood water."

"Oh, sorry. I just walked half a mile on the treadmill...so I was really thirsty."

And then a towel came flying out of nowhere and severed my jugular, thankfully ending this conversation before I was forced to murdify this guy with a Q-Tip. Not that I condone murdifying, it's just that when I'm thirsty, watch out...