Hello Auto...

So, I was standing at the urinal, minding my own business. Since my new office building offers nothing to read on the wall in front of me, I was forced to find my own entertainment for the minute and forty-eight seconds I was at the urinal. Mostly because of stage fright, but that's neither here nor there.

Anyhoo, I looked straight ahead and noticed that automatic flusher. It's pretty nice. Black. Polished. Made by Sloan. I assume they make a superior product.

Then, since there was no one next to me, I started pulling a Stevie Wonder and moved my head side to side, sans the singing of course. I noticed the urinal next to me also had an automatic flusher, which you would expect. However, this one was silver. Polished. Pretty nice. It was made by Taiko. I figure they also make a superior flusher.

But I got to thinking, if there are only two urinals, and they both have automatic flushers, why would they not have flushers made by the same brand? Was the designer of the bathroom (I'll call him L. Ron) trying to compare which was actually the best at automatically flushing? Was this bathroom his little test tube? Are we the guinea pigs for Mr. L. Ron?

Or was he so torn between the two flushers that he just couldn't decide? Perhaps he owns shares of both companies and wanted to help boost both their stock prices, which I can only assume are through the roof; everybody creates urination.

But I think those two ideas are a little off the wall. I think it's pretty obvious that the Taiko automatic flusher has a hidden camera in it because it's on the lower urinal, which allows it to catch action shots of "wangs". Then, Dr. L. Ron goes to his Scientology web site and sells said pictures of "wangs" for profit. So, I think it's pretty obvious which flusher you should be using by it's slogan:

Taiko...where your wang is the STAR!

It's good to be back!

(p.s. I'm huge into exclamation points now! Enjoy!)