Saturday, October 28, 2006

Mr. Wizard...

Two days ago, Alison and I went to the Melting Pot in Minneapolis to celebrate our anniversary. We were looking forward to some good food and a fun time. Little did we know we'd be privy to some riveting insight from the table next to us. Here is roughly how their conversation went (though there were various loud swear words thrown in throughout their other conversations, they kept this portion relatively clean)

Moron #1: Man, he wasn't near as good as us.
Moron #2: We were the top sales people. I don't know how he's in charge of that company now.
Mr . Wizard: Well, I know of a little secret to catch him and put us on top again.
Moron #1: Really? What?
Mr. Wizard: Well, I don't know if you've heard about this new thing. It's called the "internet". And, you can "advertise" on this "internet" on things called "search engines". Then, you can pay a company to have your information come up when someone "searches" for certain words on this "search engine". And get this. The beauty is, you only pay if someone "clicks" on your "site". How about that? It's true! I got it all in a book. I can show it to you if you like. I have an interview with the board of directors at Argeson tomorrow. I think I might reveal a bit of what I told you tonight, so they know I'm serious about the job.
Brent: I hear they're putting the internet on computers now.
Mr. Wizard: (looks to his moronic friends and covers his mouth with his forefinger in the "shhh" motion)
Waitress: Will that be it for you folks tonight?
Mr. Wizard: How about you split the bill three ways, then we can put it on three cards and we all had a business meeting tonight! (looks towards his friends and laughs heartily)
Moron #1 and Moron #2: (join in on the uproarious laughter)

I really don't have any words to explain just how brilliant this man was.

He can't compete with me physically, and I'm no match for his brains. Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Morons.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Remember the Program Blues aka Friday Night Lights

Have you watched Friday Night Lights yet? Seriously, they take every football movie and roll it into this TV show. So far, they've done the following:

  • The QB got hurt and the back up had to come in (Varsity Blues)
  • The back-up QB led them to an improbable win (Varsity Blues)
  • The key player is paralyzed (Remember the Titans)
  • The coach makes them run in the rain in the middle of the night to bond them (Remember the Titans)
  • The full back and half back don't get along, so the full back doesn't block for him. (The Program)
  • Creepy older player who lives in the past and talks about past championships (Varsity Blues)
  • A key player has a drinking problem (The Program)
  • A starting QB who has a horse face and no acting talent (Varsity Blues...yeah, I'm talking about you on this one Dawson)
  • Signs for the player that lives in the house in the front yard (Varsity Blues...though I think that may actually happen in Texas)
  • There is a black, workhorse style running back (Varsity Blues)
  • Someone feels that they should have blocked better when the QB got hurt (Varsity Blues)
  • A new QB shows up in town when the starter has issues (Remember the Titans)
  • Overbearing town folks who know a little too much about the team (Every high school football movie ever)
  • The back-up QB has a crush/dating the "girl next door" type (Varsity Blues...a bit of a stretch, but it will morph into that)

And that's in 3 episodes so far. And I'm sure they're stealing from other football movies, but that's about all I've seen. It's ridiculous...but a good show, because those are all good movies...

But what are they going to come up with next? I mean, are they going to have a Latimer induced steroid issue? Is there going to be a fat white kid that bonds the team? Will Matt take them all to a strip club? The possibilities are endless (and by endless, I mean there is an end, when the writers decide to stop stealing from other football movies, but until then, there is no end) I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens, assuming NBC doesn't cancel the show...