Jessica Simpson and Daisy's Coyote...

Here's a picture of us at Halloween. Obviously we are Jessica Simpson and the coyote that ate Daisy (it's not too soon). The costume was Alison's idea and I was jealous at how great of an idea she had. Obviously, Alison had to pack herself with some extra shirts to get the girth that Jessica had in those photos...

Anyway, though the costume was awesome, the people at the party we went to didn't really get it. Very disappointing...here are some of the guesses we got:

- Buffy the Vampire Slayer
- Teen Wolf
- Twilight
- Jessica Simpson and her dog
- Michael J. Fox

Come on people!

Intensive purposes?

So, I'm reading this article on CNN.com about credit cards, etc, when I come across the following point:

Really? "Intensive purposes"? That got by the editor there? Man...that's going to make me go on "Sad Patrol"...

You get the extra hots?

So, I went to Milio's sub shop over the weekend to get us our dinner. Apparently, instead of calling them "hot peppers", they call them "hots" there.

How do I know this, you ask?

Well, in the 4 minutes it took them to build my sandwich, the other guy asked about "extra hots" at least 15 times. I'm not kidding.

He built the sandwich while talking to the guy who ordered it, asking him how many extra hots he wanted. Then, ended up finishing the sandwich and saying, "1 Godfather with extra hots up". And the customer didn't hear him, so he kept repeating it while looking at the guy.

And he kept repeating it.

And then I blacked out after I gouged my face out with the fountain pop machine...

I think they used some hots as smelling salts to wake me up...

There's something wrong with me...

I was running upstairs yesterday and, as I was running, I all of the sudden started singing "Too Legit to Quit" AND doing the hand motions. Where in the heck did that come from?

Next thing you know, I'll be rapping out a little "Everybody Dance Now"...

Which answer is correct?

So, I'm at Target and I bought three of those boxes of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter Deodorizers. While I was checking out, the cashier says this:

"Awww...do you have cats?"

Which is the correct response to that?

A) Umm...yes. That's what they're for.
2) No, but I find that cat litter deodorizer works just as well on my human litter box.
D) Why would you ask me that? I'm just hungry.

The correct answer, if you're me, is 2...

So, I'm an idiot...

Alison and I were at Target last night and I was all cranky (which is weird, because I'd had my snack) and in my haste, I accidentally grabbed a 12 pack of REGULAR caffeine free Pepsi, as opposed to DIET.

Now, I haven't drank regular pop since they got rid of Surge (me and you Tony P, me and you) so I'm not sure what to do with it. Can I return it? I mean, I have the receipt, but isn't that strange to return a food item? I know it's not like returning an apple (we also bought apples and I got the right kind of those...well, not the right kind, because Granny Smith is the right kind, I got the kind that Alison likes, which is not Granny Smith, which makes it wrong, but right in her mind...ya feel?) but it still feels strange.

And I don't want to get laughed at by the Target folk (anymore than they currently laugh at me)...

I think I'll try it, but if I have to run home in shame, I'm just going to pretend it never happened...

Operation Repo

Okay, so I was kind of digging this "reality" show called Operation Repo on TruTV. Shows cameras following guys as they repossess cars. Kind of interesting...

Except it's not real. Now, it's apparently just my fast TiVo hand and never watching the beginning that I didn't realize this, but they have a disclaimer that says these are re-creations.

Why? Why? Why can't they just get a camera team to go out and follow a repossession crew and actually make the show, instead of recreating events. I don't think I'm going to watch it anymore...

Actually, I probably will...

The Forgotten Network Badge...

Well, I thought about it and if Christian Slater isn't going to make a badge for them to use, I will. They can just print this off, trace it on an old cereal box and then glue it onto said box. Presto...instant credibility!

Notice the confused looking man...like he's "forgotten" something. If any other secret societies need me to make badges for them, I come cheap. Very cheap.

The Forgotten

So, Alison and I have been watching The Forgotten with Christian Slater. It's okay...whatever. It's pretty similar to Cold Case, you know, back when Cold Case wasn't terrible.

It's not about cops, and that's where we get the rub. These people are volunteers at The Forgotten Network, where they use their spare time to help the police identify individuals who have been Jane or John Does for an extended period of time.

Which is all well and good. Who am I to tell anyone how to use their time?

But it's awkward when they go up to an individual and start asking them questions. When the person inevitably asks if they're cops, they say no, they're with The Forgotten Network...and the person will act like they know what in the world that is.

If that happened to me, it would be more like this:

Christian Slater: So, you knew this guy?
Brent: Are you a cop or something?
Christian Slater: No, I'm not a cop. I'm with The Forgotten Network.
Brent: The who?
Christian Slater: No, not The Who. We're not a band. We're a group of people who help out the police in our spare time. It's called The Forgotten Network.
Brent: Do you have any authority?
Christian Slater: I have the authority to ask if you know this guy.
Brent: But I don't have to answer, right?
Christian Slater: Well, right. But it would really help out if you did.
Brent: Help The Forgotten Network?
Christian Slater: Yes.
Brent: Sorry, I don't believe that's a thing. Do you have a badge?
Christian Slater: No.
Brent: Sorry, not going to answer. Tell Dr. Venkman I said hi though.
Christian Slater: Man, we're The Forgotten Network...not Ghostbusters!

Circle one? YES!!

My neighbors just got their dish installed by DISH Network and guess what the driver of the van did? That's right! Circle One!

As a sidenote, these people just moved in yesterday morning and the DISH guy was there by 11 am. You have to like that... I assume they got teh 8-12 window, which is really the earliest you can get TV when you just moved in that day. Looks like someone might have new friends...