Thursday, June 21, 2007

A patented Sheehy ejection...

Well, it finally happened last night. After years and years of giving my opinions to umpires, I finally got ejected. I know many of you are surprised that I haven't been ejected before, and come to think of it, so am I. But, after years and years or times when it would have been justified to throw me out, I get ejected for a smart ass comment ala my old Legion coach, Kevin Sheehy.

In the fifth inning of a horrible day of softball, Josh made a good play in the hole. A little bobble, but he tossed it to me at second for the force, which was the third out. Or so I thought. Apparently Tim the Douche (the umpire for the game, who wears a braided belt and thinks he's the sweetest guy in the world, and will henceforth be known as TTD) didn't agree and proceeded to make his sixth incorrect call of the evening (hey...that's over one per inning! If you had TTD in your fantasy assy umping league...you're smelling like gravy!). Now, how do I know he was out at second, you ask? Well, since my foot was on the base, and I felt when the ball hit, then the base move as the guy slid in, I think I have an idea of if he's safe or out. He was out.

Now, after that call, the other team proceeded to tack on four more runs, putting us down 8 in the sixth, instead of 5 (and the game ended in a tie...even TTD could figure out the math on this one...er, perhaps not him).

So, after the inning was finished the second time, I went to home plate and had the following exchange:

Brent: I just wanted to let you know that was a terrible call out at second.
TTD: Blame your shortstop. He's the one who bobbled it.
Brent: Doesn't change the fact that he was out.
TTD: That's it. You're out of here. I've had enough.

And that was that. I was out of the game. No swearing. No warning. Just mentioned how bad the call was, just like the pitcher did the inning before when TTD missed some strike calls. Now, I know I shouldn't have gone up there, but that's no reason to eject me, and have a probable two game suspension after this. Also, in reality, it probably cost us the game.

Now, as for the title of the post, I must point out my favorite ejection of all time:

Sheehy: I know you don't want to be here today, but since you are, how about you make some correct call?
Umpire: You're gone!

Ahhh...memories...

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Bachelor Party I - Vegas

Ahhh...I'm now back from Bachelor Party I - Vegas. You may be wondering how I have recovered so quickly. It may have something to do with going to bed at 9:30 each night, it may not. I guess we'll never know. Alas...here are the pertinent details that you are all wondering about:

Participants:
  1. Brent
  2. Rob (yes, I put myself in front of you...deal with it)
  3. Hart (I always call him Andy, but I know that's not his name)
  4. Hart II (this is Andy's brother)
  5. Kellett (sorry, nothing clever)
  6. "Shorts" (who gave his phone number to a chick with a tattoo of a snake on her neck...and her stomach...and her chest...niiiiiice)
  7. James (again, nothing clever)
  8. Devo (destroyed Jim Beam)
  9. Eric (claimed to destroy Jim Beam)
  10. Petredis (destroyed Garth Brooks)
  11. Greg (appeared with extra Jack Daniel's...a godsend at the time)
  12. Urban (I'm pretty sure I made fun of his birds, but I don't know for sure...)

The Events

Thursday

  • The arrival started off poorly. First, I had to ride on a plane, and I hate planes. Plus, I had to sit next to Gordo Mojito (which is what I called him). He couldn't put his tray down, or the armrests, or fit into orbit, if he was launched up there. Very few humans are bigger than that. I'm just sayin'.
  • So, then I landed and the cheapness came out of me and I took the $5.50 shuttle instead of the $14 cab. And, an hour and a half later, I was at the Flamingo. At least they had the heat on in the shuttle. I mean, it was only 107 out...might as well have it as 114 in the shuttle. Damn it.
  • Then, I found my way over to Bally's, where James, Petredis and I enjoyed the buffet. However, the price had skyrocketed 2 dollars in the past 2 years (stupid inflation). I consumed my regular buffet of a plate of meat, plate of meat, three desserts, three desserts, and an additional three desserts.
  • This was followed by heading to the room and starting to consume the whiskey. Luckily, I decided to have Eric bring two kinds of whiskey (Jack and Jim) since no one else would say what they want, and Captain is very 90's...
  • After drinking, we decided to leave the room when everyone was there and some of us went to the Imperial Palace for cheap blackjack. Which is where I went. And lost $100 to Garth Brooks at the table. I hate him more than Susie.

Friday

  • After some people ate breakfast (I didn't), we decided to go to the pool.
  • At the pool, I walked over to the slide, only to realize I felt like I was on To Catch a Perv. So, I left there. And, played some water H.O.R.S.E.
  • Turns out, I'm a phenom at water H.O.R.S.E. And it was domination.
  • Then, we went back to the room to consume more whiskey.
  • Eventually, we went to the Flamingo buffet.
  • I couldn't eat as much as normal, which made me sad.
  • After going back to the room for a quick np, it was morning. 9:00 bedtime? Check.

Saturday

  • After feeling like a losermobile after waking up, Petredis and I went to play poker.
  • Petredis lost his $100 on thw swift, though the guy who won it got lucky.
  • The wasted guy next to me won about $1,200 while I lost my money. Not good times. But he was more wasted than a Russian at the Kitty Kat Klub. You know what I'm talking about.
  • After that, we decided to bet on some baseball. I made my picks and bet $20, on a 4 team parlay. Petredis and Devo copied my picks. I also set up a 7 team parlay for Eric to bet on and he put $10 on it.
  • We sat in the sportsbook, waiting for our free drinks to pour in. Alas, you need to bet at least $40 to get one free drink. So, we got none. And got mad. But realized there was still whiskey in the room, so we went there to watch the games.
  • The Cubs-Padres game was on and Eric had bet on it. So, we watched that, and the game had a fight in it, and resulted in a 1-0 victory for the Pads. Eric got his first game.
  • We then watched the second game of the parlay, and watched the Angels beat the Dodgers. 2 for 2.
  • We proceeded to watch the White Sox-Pirates game, after hearing the Blue Jays won (which we all bet on). The Sox won, and soon, all the whiskey was gone, until another bottle magically appeared.
  • We then watched the bottom line, to see how the other games were going. Turns out the Diamondbacks won. The 4 team parlays were done and we'd won! Nice!
  • Eric saw the bottom line and the Reds won so he was 6 for 6. We decided to go to the sports book to watch the final game.
  • While I was wasted, we saw updates on the final game and the cards dominated the A's. Which meant Eric lost his parlay. And I had really wanted to bet on the Brewers over Twins instead, but didn't want to feel like Hitler, so didn't. Damn it!
  • Then, I ended up back in the room and went to bed again Bleh.

Sunday

  • Ah, the morning and time to leave.
  • We woke Petredis up and he was big into brushing his teeth. Very strange.
  • Tried to wake James up, but he was having none of it. Apparently, he didn't remember I was in there. Strange.

I'm sorry this update was boring, but Vegas was a great time. Seriously, I would love to go back and do it again. Faaaan-tastic. Thanks for coming everyone!

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Apparently Nigeria reads my blog...

Now this is what I'm talking about!!

PS...Yahoo...your spam filter is breaking down on the quick...

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My Dear Beloved in the Lord,

My Name is Mrs Daisy Abraham,a National of Malaysial am married to late Engr.George Abraham who work with the Shell Petroleum Development Company in Russia before he died in the year 2001 after a brief illness that lasted for only five days.We were married for Seventeen years with a duaghter (Lilian)who later died in a motor accident. Before the untimely death of my husband we were both Born again Christians.Since after his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside

my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of ($18,000,000.00 USD) Eighteen Million United States Dollars with a Bank in England whose name is whithed until we open up communication.This money is still with the Bank, Recently Following my ill health, my Doctor told me that I may not last for the next Couple Of Months due to my cancer problem.The one that disturbs me most is my inability to move around.Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a Christain organization (Church) that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein,according to the desire of my late husband before his death.

I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way.This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that "the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace". I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives around me always.I don't want them to know about this development.With God all things are possible.As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank.I will also issue you the Letter Of Authority that will prove you the present beneficiary of this fund.I want you and the Church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard,Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein while i am Hoping to receive your urgent reply.

Have a Wonderful Day.
Your Sister in Christ,
Mrs Daisy Abraham.
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