Wednesday, March 31, 2010


people are not taking too kindly to my old Comcast Van post. I've been getting a comment or two on it on a weekly basis and got two more yesterday. Of course, since my blog is a dictatorship, I don't post those comments. However, I find it strange that people take the time to post a comment about that, calling me an idiot, when, in reality, it's a strange practice and you don't see it that often. Apparently, if you can believe the comments, about 100 kids have been saved by the practice, along with millions of pets, two Bigfoots and a half full Slurpee (nice job optimist).

I'm just saying...I'm is strange.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Final Tally

Well, it appears to be done, but last week, I had to make 6 trips to the vet in regards to Khloe. Which pretty much sucked. Luckily, she is wearing a pretty fetching cone now (along with the new nickname Kone), so some good did come out of it...

Monday, March 29, 2010


I had to follow two Vespas down a road with a 55 mph speed limit. I don't know how fast a Vespa goes, but these ones seemed to top out at about 25. I don't know what they were powered by, but it sure wasn't hate, because if they were powered by hate rays, they would have been going about 100...

Friday, March 26, 2010


So, I was at Costco, getting gas, when I heard some lady go by some guy who had a bumper sticker on his Subaru and I hear her say, "I love your bumper sticker. I love your car."

Really...he has an Obama bumper sticker and a Subaru. The election is over...and he has a Subaru. I don't have my Steve Forbes bumper sticker on my car anymore...bumper stickers are lame. And, again, Subaru's are lame.

Come to think of it...this woman was probably lame...

Thursday, March 25, 2010

How many is too many?

I was at Target yesterday, in the Express Lane (10 items or less) and the guy in front of me had 19 items, a coupon that didn't work and he argued about the price of asparagus (and pulled out the mailer he received to prove his point). Then, he looked at my two items (a calculator and cookies) and said, " just wanted a snack and you got stuck behind me. A-huh-huh."

And then I cyber-chopped him in the face...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Good news!

Apparently, my taxes on my house are going down a ton next season. The bad news...obviously, my house is worth a ton less. Either way...I don't want to get another cat. 3 is more than enough.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Guess how many?

Well, I think I made the most trips I've ever made to a single store in a day before on Sunday. I ended up going to Cub three times. I know...I know...maybe I could figure out what I needed and only make 1 trip. But then what would I have to talk about? That's right...nothing. That was a big part of the excitement on Sunday. Jealous much?

Monday, March 22, 2010

I figured it out...

I've figured out the imbecile litmus test. Strangely enough, it was because of Drew Carey and the Price is Right.

If you are the first person of four to guess the price for an item and your guess is one dollar, that means you're an imbecile. If you can't figure out the meaning behind the one dollar wager on the Price is Right and when to use it, you might as well just give up right now. Because, odds are, not only will life be too hard for you...breathing will most likely be too hard for you...

Sidenote: I bet it stung a bit when the fourth person bet two dollars, didn't it? End Sidenote

Friday, March 19, 2010

I'm an idiot...

This made me laugh as hard as I've laughed at anything in a long time...

Thursday, March 18, 2010

It was a good run...

Well, my visitors to the site looking for naked pictures of Betty White have started to turn into a trickle. From a high of 93 visitors, we're down to around 20 a day. Since I assume no one was coming to the site twice to look for nudie Betty White pictures that aren't there, we're looking at at least 470 different people who came here, trying to find some Betty White skin.

I don't really know what to do with that. Should I be impressed? Sad? Weirded out? I think, mostly, I'm weirded out. Though I guess I can't imagine some of the searches some of the mutants of this world I guess there are tons that would be weirder and worse than this...

Still though...I wonder how many are looking for current naked pictures of Betty White. I'm guessing at least 1%. That means at least 4 people came on here looking for current nude pictures of Betty White.

And that, that my friends, is where everyone needs to draw the line. I just shuddered a little. Blech...

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Precious...the Comedy?

So, Alison and I were in the mood for something funny to watch, so we went out on amazon, through our TiVo and tried to find a comedy.

There was talk about this movie Precious at the Oscars, but I didn't hear much about it. However, after looking at it on there, we decided to download it, since it was in the comedy genre. Plus, I love Kurtwood Smith.

However, once we started watching it, it seemed like it might have been mislabeled. I mean, sure, there were funny parts, but throwing a baby on the ground is not really my brand of humor. I like puke jokes more (you keep going Daniel Tosh). Plus, unless Kurtwood Smith was playing the teacher in drag (yes...that's how I picture him in drag...yes, I picture Kurtwood Smith in drag...don't act like you don't), I don't think he was in the movie.

All in all, I give it 3 stars as a movie (out of 5), however, I only give it 1 star as a comedy. However, I was happy that Queen Latifah won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar. She really deserved it.

sidenote: It took me about 20 tries to get a good picture of the screen and Alison was about ready to gut me with a spoon by the time I was done. I hope it was worth it! end sidenote

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

4 times...

I was at Target yesterday and the checkout lady double swiped 4 different items. 4! She'd swipe it once, it would beep, then she'd accidentally swipe it again. With 4 different items. And each time, she'd look at me and smile and go "Oh".

So, what was the deal with that? Was she trying to see how many times she could do it before I said something? Was she nervous? Why in the world would that happen? I just do not get it...

Monday, March 15, 2010

Strange plaque...

So, I was over at Alison's parents house and I was leafing through the Signals catalog, when I saw the plaque on the right.

Now, all the underlining in red was done by me, to easily point out what I'm talking about.

As you can see, it's a bunch of things, saying that you are blank to my blank, meaning you complete the first blank with whatever the second blank is. Nice. Simple. Whatever. Not something I would buy (because I already have 3! Psych. Bringing it back. Ignore me. Forget these last sentences).

So, anyway, all of them say, blank TO my blank. All of them. Except the last one. It says the blank ON my blank. Why? WHY?

Did they get to the end and forgot what they'd said on all the other ones? Seriously, you get that far on that tacky knickknack and then you mess it up at the end? Seriously, the one old cat lady who buys this thing is going to be PO'd when she realizing what they've done!

Does anyone have a good explanation for this? It astounded me. And, not surprisingly, Alison and her mom both thought I was an idiot with too much time on my hands to even bring it up. And they are for sure at least a quarter right.

Friday, March 12, 2010


So, Alison had conferences last night, so I decided to go to Cub and grab something to eat. I wasn't sure what I wanted I had to look around.

You know how long it took me to make a decision? Do you?

21 minutes

That's right...I paced the store for 21 minutes. From the chicken section, to the ribs, to the frozen pizza, to the deli, to the pizza again, back to the chicken section.

It was ridiculous. Talk about being indecisive. I a certain point, I even saw Brett Favre rolling his hand in the "C'mon, make a decision buddy" manner. Unbelievable.

In the end...I got chicken wings...

Thursday, March 11, 2010

I'm officially old...

I went to the dentist yesterday and had a small pain near one of my teeth. Like a normal person, I thought it might be a cavity. Nope. Turns out I have a receding gum line there. Receding gums? Cripes...I feel like I'm about a billion plus two years old...

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Come on Webster!

I don't know if you saw it or not, but Conan O'Brien started following some chick on Twitter and now all the sudden, she has tons of followers. Now...I don't have a Twitter account (like you need to see "still sitting" 48 times a day), but I do have this blog (as you know...since you are reading it, or got linked here, looking for naked pictures of Betty White). And I do have followers (to the right, though no one new has signed up to follow in a LONG time).

So, why doesn't a former celebrity follow my blog. I promise to mention them as much as possible and bring them much needed promotion, you know, from the perverts looking for naked pictures of Betty White.

So, come on Emmanuel Lewis. Come on Ted Danson. Come on Emilio Estevez. Come on, dare I say it...Betty White! Someone who is famousish, follow me and the world will be our oyster!

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

It's amazing really...

I mean, I make a post about Betty White, which linked to a mention of Betty White being naked, and that single handedley quadrupled my pageviews for a day. Check out the past three days searches that led people to my site:
And I'm sure I'm not even one of the top search results for these Betty White searches. This is insanity! I mean, sure, we all want to see Betty White naked. Obviously. Don't kid yourself otherwise. But that's more something you'd want to picture than actually see the photos and do searches on it. Pretty sure you could get fired from your job for those searches (though I'm sure HR would understand).'s a list of the searches people used to get to my page to see these (awesome):
Well played world??

Monday, March 08, 2010


So, we were at dinner with someone and they said the following:

"And then I play them on my mp3 player..."

Ouch. Really? A Zune? Then, did you play your tapes in your BetaMax? Or maybe go play your HD-DVDs? All the while, drinking some RC Cola?

I didn't know anyone actually bought a Zune, and then I look online and you can still buy a Zune?! It was tougher to find a place to buy a BetaMax though...

Friday, March 05, 2010

Shopping List

As you can probably tell, I wasn't jazzed to go to Target and pick up some stuff yesterday...

Thursday, March 04, 2010


I read a story on about Hummers and one guy had a sticky note left on his Hummer that said, "You should be ashamed."

Shouldn't the person who left the note be ashamed for killing a tree to leave the note and then littering it on someone's car? Isn't that more harmful? And what kind of self-richeous jerk does that? I don't say anything when your Prius is scooting along at 45 mph on the Interstate. least not to your face...

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Whatever happened to...

I went through the car wash yesterday and it still says to make sure you put down the antenna on your car when you go through. Whatever happened to big old antenna's on cars? Then, when some hillbilly broke his off in a drunken rage because HHH got pinned by the Undertaker (AGAIN!), he'd have to go to the closet and rig a wire hanger to be the new antenna. What happened to those? Those always made me laugh and now I can't laugh at them anymore. Talk about a lack of joy-joy feelings...

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

I'm going here!

So, I was in Uptown this weekend and saw this "salon"? Click on the picture to see a close-up of all the "services". Here they are, in order:
- Pedicures
- Manicures
- Colonics
- Nutrition
- Psychology
- Counseling
- Cut
- Color
- Naturopathic Doctor
- Massage
- Bodywork
- Retail Sales
- Facials
- Healing Touch
- Human Design
- Homeopath
- Hypnosis

Quite an array there, huh? I'm thinking odds are, when I go there, I'm going to get a colonic and a massage while receiving some counseling. I assume the same person will do all of those at the same time...

Monday, March 01, 2010

No post?

That's right. The train has derailed. I totally forgot to make a post for today. I've heard from one person who was very, very upset. So...sorry Mom...I swear a new one will be up tomorrow...