Saturday, January 20, 2007

The Run-in...

Alison and I sat down at Maynard's, up in Rogers, all ready for a delicious meal. I sat facing the south, but Alison asked if we could switch sides. Being the gentleman that I am, I of course didn't care. So, we switched.

I looked past Alison, and saw a guy who looked familiar. He looked like a guy who would have tons of lame jokes. But, I couldn't quite place him. I looked next to him and his wife was sitting with him. His wife's eyes met mine and that's when my recognition bell went off. Crups!! I hope she doesn't recognize me.

Alas, she did. She started waving the napkin towards me and yelling, "Brent! Brent! Order the combo burger Brent!!" It was very reminiscent of when I was 15 and she was yelling at my baseball team while waving an oversized, novelty blanket, during a tournament, "Wayzata! Wayzata! Get in the shade Wayzata!"

I hope someone who gets this actually still reads my craptacular blog...

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


Yep, that's the sound of a frozen bottle of Sprite Zero, taken from outside, and then left in a warmer garage. Uh-huh. I know. I'm a moron...

Wednesday, January 10, 2007


OK, a resounding amount of writer's did not vote for Mark McGwire to get into the HOF. This was expected, and though the reasoning is asinine, at best, I've come to accept it.

What I can't accept is a douche like Rich Maris saying that McGwire and Bonds should have an asterisk next to their homerun seasons. His reasoning? They cheated to get those records. So, he thinks his dad, Roger Maris, should have the record back.

But back up a second. Didn't Roger Maris take 162 games to hit 61 homers? And Babe Ruth did it in 154? Wasn't that right? So, shouldn't Babe Ruth have the record and Roger Maris have an asterisk?

"But the season was 162 games. There wasn't a rule that said the season was 154 games."

That's right, just like there wasn't a rule that steroids could not be used when McGwire and Bonds broke the record. They were playing within' the rules, just like Maris was playing within'the rules.

To make yet another asinine leap, Babe Ruth shouldn't have the record, since he was doing it against all white competition. He wasn't playing against half of the league, since they were in the Negro leagues. I know it was no fault of his own, he was just going by the rules.

So, if we're following the logic of Rich Maris, there should be no records at all in baseball. If we are banning records for the "Steroid Era", it only makes sense that we ban records from the "Dead Ball Era" the "Live Ball Era", "The Segregtion Era", and "The 162 Game Era".

I mean, fair's fair...right Rich. You stupid crotch.