Saturday, June 24, 2006

Stage Fright Judgement?

When I go to a urinal, I always have a sneaking suspicion that the guy next to me is judging me and laughing at potential stage fright if he can't hear me peeing right away. To avoid this, I try to make the pee as loud as possible, by hitting the urinal cake with as much force as possible. That'll show that guy that this guy doesn't have stage fright.

It's strange living in my world...

Friday, June 09, 2006

So, I have pink eye now...

which is pretty cool. I'm hoping tomorrow to contract chicken pox and on Sunday, maybe I can lose another of my baby teeth and leave it for teh tooth fairy. Hoo-hah!

But anyway, I went to the doctor this morning, you know, to fix my unsightly, highly contagious condition. Now, as I had not expected to contract pink eye, because I'm not 8, I didn't have the forsight to make an appointment at the doctor's office. Which I thought would be fine, because they could turn me away if they didn't have any room.

But that wouldn't be good enough for the nurse who helped me. She called my name and abruptly walked away. Then, when she was weighing me (light-heavy middle weight), she mentioned the doctor wouldn't be in for 20 minutes ...because I showed up without an appointment.

I said I hadn't planned on getting pink eye, and that if I had known I was going to get it, I would have for sure made an appointment, at least two weeks in advance and brought a note from the principal saying it was okay if I got medicine to cure my ailment.

Apparently she didn't like my joking around, because she let me sit there for two and a half hours before the doctor came in for 8 seconds, said "yep, pink eye" popped out a prescription and sent me on my way.

Moral of the story...that nurse with the smelly feet sucks in more ways than one...

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Rock Climbing...

Actual conversation overheard at LifeTime...

LifeTime Loser: Yeah, so a bunch of us are going rock climbing tomorrow. Do you want to go?
Bored Girl: (ignores LifeTime Loser)
LifeTime Loser: Yep, rock climbing sure is a lot of fun.
Bored Girl: (ignores LifeTime Loser harder)
LifeTime Loser: (looks towards the sky) Um, so, I like all kinds of rocks. What's your favorite kind?
Bored Girl: (ignores LifeTime Loser so hard I thought her head was going to explode)
LifeTime Loser: Well, if you decide you want to go, give me a call. We're all going to be there...
Bored Girl: (under her breath) Who? You and your turtle?
LifeTime Loser: (hopefully) What?
Bored Girl: (slaps her head for speaking to him) My's curdled. I gotta go. Good luck with your boating trip though...she Ben Johnson's the hell away from him)
LifeTime Loser: (trailing off) It's actually rock climbing, not boating...

Ahhh...good times. My readers will probably bombard him with e-mails, asking why they weren't invited to go rock climbing with him. Ahhhh, Bored Girl, if you only knew how lucky you were...