That's it!!!

I've had it. I'm soooo not listening to old people I eavesdrop on in Target anymore.

I was going to buy some pop there when I overheard some old lady tell her older husband that they had a much better deal going on at Rainbow.

So, I stopped at Rainbow yesterday to check it out and there was no better deal going on!

Did she know I was listening and was trying to trick me? If so, kudos old lady....kudos....

Gross!!

So, Alison and I went to Wildfire the other night. She got the Filet Mignon and it was...um...not very good. Which is weird, since Wildfire is normally pretty good (though a bit overpriced in my mind).

Then, the bill came.

NOW I get it!! They've switched to Horse meat in the Filet! I didn't realize that...and didn't know it was legal! Good to know. Bring on Mr. Ed!

I've figured out...

how to tell if a sports play is just good or really good.

She's called Alison.

If I ask her if she wants to see an amazing play, she'll normally placate me. After the play, the reaction is normally, "Mmmm-hmmm".

Yesterday, I told her to watch a catch and the reaction was, "No WAY!!!"

Therefore, I know for sure that that was a really good catch.

Just noticed...

It's a ton more work to be the Recycling Guy than it is to be the Garbage Guy.

The Garbage Guy has an automated lift that picks up the trashcan and dumps it in the...um...dumper? Anyway, the Recycling Guy has to physically get out and dump each recycling bin into his trucks dumper by himself.

I bet they have similar pay though. Something to think about it you decide to go into that line of work.

Goodbye mailbox...

I think I watch too much TV...

is 7 hours a day too much? Good...didn't think so...thanks for your affirmation...

Audi music...

So, I'm surfing the Audi website (totally work related) and I'm in their FAQ and I see this:

Can I buy a CD with the music from Audi commercials?

I don't think they know what the "frequently" in "frequently asked questions" means. It does not mean questions asked one time by some weirdo trying to score with the receptionist at the corporate headquarters.

If it did, their FAQ might also include:

- What are you doing tonight?
- Excuse me, do you live around here often?
- That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer, huh?
- Do you know how to use a whip?

But I didn't see any of those there...

Makeup for infants?

So, Alison got this new make-up. I guess it has sunscreen in it. It's not as pretty as my makeup. Whatever. But perhaps I've said too much.

Anyway, not the point. The point is, strain your eyes and read the directions on this thing. If you can't (or don't wanna), here's what it says:

"Children under 6 months of age: ask a doctor"

Ask a doctor? Ask a doctor what? If you can make your infant look like a HO!!

Seriously, who is putting makeup on 6 month olds? This should really be a test. If you do ask your doctor about this they should legally be able to stab you. Seems fair.

*Thank you to Alison for the base idea of this blog post*

National Champs!!

So, if you know me, you know I play a lot of sim football. Well, yesterday I finally broke through and me and the Trinity Connecticut Bantams won the National Championship! I've attached the letter from the AD below (judge me all you want)

Keep it up Lohan!

So, Lindsay Lohan has decided to rip on Sarah Palin. Fantastic! Since NO ONE cares what you "think", the only good you are doing is possibly causing people to vote for her, since AMERICA HATES YOU! (I know...not a great reason to vote, but if AJ Prjhejklnasdski came out in support of McCain, I'd have to think twice).

It's like Kid Rock said:

I think celebrity endorsements hurt politicians. Because as soon as somebody comes out for a politician, especially in Hollywood, when they all go, "I'm voting for this guy!" -- I go, "That's not who I'm voting for!"

It works in the opposite direction too. Thanks Lindsay!

Aquafresh...now for Dummies...

Now, Alison and I bought this tube of toothpaste the other day, you know...for its "2x Whitening" power. Which is why I assume most people bought it. However, look in the upper left corner...

"NOW with whitening"

Now? Now with whitening? What the B was it before? It's 2x Whitening! Was it just 2x before? And it's not like they said "Now with MORE whitening". No. Just Now with Whitening. Idiots.

You can't trick people into coming to Church...

Nice try...

*thanks to Devo for the picure*

Ken Rosenthal is a POS...

Wow...Ken Rosenthal is at it again. He's dedicated yet another column to how much he doesn't like Mark McGwire. http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/8547420?MSNHPHMA

We get it. You're an idiot, but I understand you have a point of view. Do you have to write the same article on a monthly basis though? Cripes.

I hope Rosenthal gets hit in the face with a steroid...

Chrome is sassy!

So, I downloaded Google's new browser and I was trying to find some directions when there was an error and the following came up:

Don't you sass me Google, or you'll get the boot to the crotch. You think I kid? Test me. Test me Google.

So...

The Union Pen Company is trying to woo me and Standard Merit into buying our holiday pens from them. Little do they know that the odds of us purchasing holiday pens are 7...

7 in a gagillion, of course. Though the sample they sent me was quasi-nice...

Really?

So, I'm selling all my old CD's on Half.com and here's what I just sold:

59.99 for a Fat Boys CD??? AWESOME!!

Nice socks C. Webb...

Tan. Snazzy...

Worst Book Ever!!!

So, I'm walking down the aisle at Target and I see what is, without a doubt, the worst book EVER!

What kind of person, in their right mind, would buy this douchey tool's book? No one. You have to be an a-hole to listen to this guy, much less spend money on his book. Seriously...you might as well buy this at the same time as the following:

Ahhh...weight loss advice from a fat man and election advice from a moron. Can the world get any better??

HYPER losers!

So, you know that party I talked about that no one RSVPed for? Well, eventually, 12 people said they were coming.

Then, the night came, and 5 people "thought it was Sunday, not Saturday." So, almost half the people didn't come.

My point? Apparently...I suck...