Lifetime Lady...

So whenever I go to Lifetime Fitness, which is pretty much once a day, there is a lady sitting there on the couch watching TV. I've never seen her on a treadmill, lift a weight or head down to the pool. She just sits there, watching TV. This, at first, seems like a pretty big waste of a gym membership. I mean, I sit at home and watch TV and I don't have to pay 50 dollars a month to do it.

Ahhh...but therein lies the rub. I do have to pay someone to watch TV when I'm at home. I'm paying Time Warner whoknowshowmuch a month to watch quality cable programming. I'm also paying Lifetime Fitness 50 dollars a month to use their workout facilities.

It seems that this lady has found a loophole. She only pays one company for both her workout privileges and cable TV privileges! This is incredible! What I first perceived as sheer laziness in the face of working out is essentially one of the greatest discoveries in the history of mankind. This woman might win a Nobel Peace Prize...if they start giving it out for laziness.

Now, I know what all you naysayers are thinking. Sure, you could go to a bar and watch TV for free. But do you get to control the TV at the bar? Can you adjust the volume so you can hear? Or are you mere seconds away from a hot shower? Can you go downstairs and get a run in on the treadmill during a show? (I should let it be known that this woman probably can't do the last thing either. Truth be told, she's enormous)

And for all those options, plus numerous others that I don't have space to list, the Lifetime Fitness Cable and Workout package is the best deal going. It makes it look like the Arby's 5 for $5.95 deal was put out there by Mormons!