Thursday, September 27, 2007

In the mirror...

As you can see by the letter to the left, I was available to be taken in the 1998 NBA draft.

Oh, the GM's laughed at me then! Oh how they laughed! They giggled and chortled and tee-heed and tittered. They cackled and snickered and twittered and sniggered.

When they were finally through they offered a myriad of excuses on why they couldn't draft me:

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- "You're too short."
- "You're too white."
- "You have no discernable basketball skills and as far as we can tell, the only time you played organized basketball after 8th grade was intra-murals during senior year of high school and you even came off the bench for that."
- "You emit a foul and unpleasant odor. I loathe you."
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And so on and so forth, each attack getting more personal, until I felt like going all bitchcakes on them. But I held myself back. These could be my future employers, I thought.
Alas, after waiting by the phone in anticipation of getting that call that I'd been drafted (I was not invited to Madison Square Garden, just like Korleone Young shouldn't have been), I finally realized it wasn't going to happen. Maybe the GM's were right? Maybe my odor was foul and unpleasant!
But, what they didn't know is that I would have signed for any amount of money. Not the multi-millions the others in the first round got. So, you think the GM's that drafted the following people might owe me (and their friggin' fans) an apology? I think so!!
1ST ROUNDERS IN THE 1998 DRAFT WHO WERE WORSE PICKS THAN BRENT NELSON

And don't even flippin' get me started on Round 2!!!!



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's okay Big Kat!