On vacation...

You guys are going to have to get your fix elsewhere this week, since I'm out of town. I leave you with this for the next week:

Wow...

So, I was reading this article on CNN.com about Obama being a one-term president...then they showed a picture of the guy who wrote it:




Man, you totally need to get a body double for pictures because NO ONE is going to listen to you once they get a glimpse of that nasty looking soup-strainer on your face...you look like a jerk.

My suggestion...

Well, since stupid Scott MacIntyre didn't take my suggestion and do Dunkie Butt, I have a new song for him to do next week. Grab your rats nest and sing along!

You be the judge...

So, one of Alison's favorite singers is Ray LaMontagne. He has this song called "Trouble". For the longest time, I couldn't understand what he was saying. Here are the lyrics at the part I couldn't understand:

I've been saved by a woman
I've been saved by a woman
I've been saved by a woman

I thought he was saying:

Alabama saved by a woman
Alabama saved by a woman
Alabama saved by a woman

You know, like he knew the history of Alabama really well and there was a chance Alabama wasn't going to make it to become a state and some woman saved it. Or the band Alabama was going to break apart because of a woman and then she made sure everyone in the group reconciled so they could go on to make hits (if they have any hits...I don't know much about the band Alabama...perhaps this woman, if that's what this is about, shouldn't have saved the band).

Something like that. How am I supposed to know? Who am I, Greg Evigan?

Anyway, here's the video. The part I'm talking about is about :41 seconds in.

When I told Alison this, she couldn't believe I thought that. While I admit, it might not make sense (see possible explanations above), and I have a history of doing this (It's too late to call the judge) but I still think it sounds like that. Alison says I'm crazy.

I'm buyin'!

I'm not quite sure what this guy is sellin', but I have no doubt I'm buyin'! We're so caj~ he doesn't even address me, he states "Whats up". Word homey. Word.

Man, Czia is a character!

Broken CD?

So, I sold a CD and sent it to the guy. I got an e-mail saying it broke, so it must have broke during shipping. So, I issued him a refund and that was that. Then, I get this e-mail:

Thanks for the refund. I don't think you sent a broke cd on purpose, so I will not leave any negative comments. The cd was sent fast, things happen.

Wow. Really? If I had done it on purpose, would I have issued the refund? Wouldn't I have just ignored you? Nice sleuthing Sherlock...

Fat cat...

It seems that our fat cat Klyde has gotten even fatter recently.

He likes to go and sit by the window, but to get there, he has to jump up onto a filing cabinet that's about 2 feet high and then climb up to the window.

A little bit ago, he started to miss on his jump and falling back down (proving that not all cats land on their feet).

Now, he doesn't even attempt to jump up there anymore. He's found another way, going over to the couch, climbing up that, which leads to the wall which has a shelf that he walks across to the window (proving that Klyde isn't the imbecile we thought he was).

I think there's a chance that he won't be able to make it up on the couch pretty soon. Watch out Eddie...

American Idol...

We were watching American Idol last night and I was watching some tool perform and I got to thinking what I would do if I were on American Idol.

Obviously, I would sing something by Senor Droolcup, possibly Boob Shirt or Jennifer's a Tease, but that doesn't matter, since I'm a terrible singer.

I'm more about performance (like Anoop). And, the key to my performance would be...SLAP BRACELETS!

That's right, I'd bring them back. I'd where a zebra colored one on one wrist and a camouflage one on the other wrist and I'd alternate slapping them onto my forearms throughout the performance.

I believe that America would be so mesmerized by them, they would vote for me, just because they remember using them as a kid (and not putting them in the microwave...because that's just not smart).

I hope someone takes my hint...don't be like Scott MacIntyre and completely ignore me...

Don't tell me you're not excited!

While yawning my way through another episode of The Real World (on next weeks episode, Chett uses a dish and Katelynn complains about stuff), I saw a commercial for RW/RR Challenge: The Duel 2!!

And then, they showed this trailer:

RW/RR Challenges: The Duel 2 - MTV Shows

Weird...CT punching the crap out of somebody. What's that, the third time? And what do I tune in for? That's right, because I know if CT is there, he's going to punch the crap out of somebody. Good times.

How sad is it that I'm already looking forward to April 8th? Pee Wee Herman in a movie theatre sad? Bleh...

Check it out...

That's right...the LOCO BAT! The Wiffle Ball bat with the wooden handle! Why didn't they have this when I used to dominate in our college Wiffle Ball league (and yes, I understand I'm calling it a league but it was just a bunch of nerds playing in the vacant lot next to the house). I would have ruled even harder!

Bald spot...

I had the sweetest bald spot going when I woke up this morning. I looked like Rick Moranis. Alison is a lucky lady...

Mirdle?

So, I'm on the phone with my mom yesterday and I get to have this interesting conversation:

Mom: So, I was reading in the paper about the new male fashion.
Brent: What's that?
Mom: It's called a mirdle.
Brent: What's that?
Mom: It's a male girdle. I thought you may be interested.
Brent: Huh?
Mom: Yeah, so you can suck a little of that side fat in.
Brent: Wow. Maybe I should wear a paper bag over my head too? Keep the general public from getting grossed out?
Mom: Well, I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but that's not the worst idea you've ever had...

Thanks mom. Thanks...

Sorry Klyde...

Now, for anyone that has met our cat Klyde, you know that he's not the brightest pig in the blanket. I kind of wish Family Guy wasn't animated so Klyde could have claimed his rightful place in this role. When they say the word "Horse", replace it with "Klyde" and you're good to go:

Gross...

So, I was out driving and I see a Prius puttering along and this was the license plate on the car:

And then, all of the sudden, I couldn't see the road anymore because I puked out of disgust from the pretentiousness emitting from their "car"...

Shut your face Peter Griffin!

Seriously?

So, I'm trying to send an e-mail on Yahoo and this comes up after I hit send:

Of course I was wrong. What the jat is that second letter?

OK...

So, we buy the cats their litter from Costco (surprise, surprise...I'm cheap) and it comes with these little "Paw Point" things. You take the Paw Points and go to the website, enter your number and they give you points which can be redeemed for rewards.

So, today, I bought a thing of litter and it popped us to 680 points. This has taken about a year. And I've been waiting to get to 650 that whole time (I know...I know...insert life here) to get this this soft dome thing to hide in (which you can see here):

instead of the upside down box (see...cheapness) they currently play in.

Anyway, I go on the site and go to the item I want and see this:

SNART! Are you serious? After a year of hard work, it's out of stock? Man...this sucks worse than Gumby...

Become a follower!

That's right...if you haven't noticed, to the right here, you have the ability to become a follower of my blog. Is there any benefit? No. However, it does let me know that at least 5 people (currently) read this thing. So...might as well join on and be part of the club...

Crumpets?

OK, so apparently the Post Office is the new Target and I get to overhear morons everytime I'm in there.

So, I'm in the Post Office yesterday, filling out an address, when I hear this Brit-ishy lady come in and start talking some jib-jab with her Brit-ishy accent. And it went like this:

Brit-ishy Lady: How much does it cost to post?
Brent: (in head) Oh, this should be fun.
Post Office Dude: It's 42 cents.
Brit-ishy Lady: Oh, crumpets! I was almost illegal!
Brent: (in head) Yep, I hear their bringing back the gallows for insufficient postage. Another victory for Benjamin Franklin!

Salutation?

So, I was filling out a form to go to the eye doctor and they had a question that I've been waiting for for years...

Bow down! It's your Royal Awesomeness...

I didn't know this was a thing...

Finally! They're responding to my e-mail I sent with the subject line:

GetJapanese Skinny! New Discovery shows...

Ahhhh...Japanese Skinny. Not to be confused with German Funny...