Flipping Out V. Tosh.0

I'm sure I'm not the first to say it, but I'm pretty sure that Daniel Tosh from Comedy Central's Tosh.0 (left) is the twin brother of Jeff Lewis (right) from Bravo's Flipping Out. I'm just sayin'...
Or they might be the same person. I've never seen them in the same room together. Never. Not once. Not ever. Macaulay Culkin.

Take that Duff!

Yeah, my mom, Alison and I were all part of this survey and all voted for Miley Cyrus. Take THAT Hilary Duff!

A-Spray? No way? A-okay!

Apparently, this is a real product. Seriously...

Is it just me or does Lanny F. and his rape van in the background seem like a very reliable contractor?

Wait...you mean you're creepy looking, smell bad, talk about your butt AND drive around with a van with no windows in the back?? I get ALL of that when we hire you? Where do I sign up???

Pretend it's a Roast! Anything goes!

*DISCLAIMER: THIS POST IS IN POOR TASTE SO IF YOU DO NOT ENJOY ROAST-STYLE HUMOR, PLEASE DO NOT READ IT*

So, as you've probably all heard, Megan Wants a Millionaire has been cancelled because one of the contestants killed his wife and then himself. And I was talking to Petredis about this, since he didn't really know about the case, and the conversation when like this (sidenote...I bet he won Megan Wants a Millionaire):

Brent says: I did hear he won I Love Money 3 though
Brent says: That's also not going to air...
Justin says: Damn, all of a sudden reality TV execs have morals?
Brent says: I know...but I guess I don't because I don't understand why they couldn't play it still...
Justin says: I have to assume he wins Megan's show
Justin says: That may be a big reason why
Brent says: That would be the only possible reason I could see
Brent says: I mean, things have happened before and they still show shows...
Brent says: The party line the girl who died worked for is still using her ad
Brent says: Jasmine Fiore for 1-800-YES-GIRL
Justin says: That is wrong
Justin says: ...and her face is very weird
Brent says: I agree...it's almost like he did her a favor
Brent says: ...er...something

At which point pop flew out of Trete's nose...pretty sure there's nothing worse I could have said there...I've been watching too much Jeffrey Ross...

Pluto...the new something...

So, with all the back and forth over health care, etc. it's nice of CNN to come out with a poll that America can all get behind...

I know what you're thinking; this is a pretty easy one. There's an obvious right answer and anyone who answers any other way is a tool.

Whelp...the results may surprise you...

Hmmm....who thought "Who gives a butt?" would win as a write in vote? Certainly not this blogger...

Hongo Killer!

I have no idea in the world what Hongo is, all I know is that it HAS to be killed! There is no getting around that fact. And don't try to back-talk me on this issue David Blaine. I'm not having it. How about you just get back up on your pole and maybe learn some real magic instead of preaching about my views on Hongo?

That's a man, man!

Why in the world are they trying to get this dude to prove his sex?

This is absolutely ridiculous! We're on a witch hunt and this young m...

*editor whispers in Brent's ear*

WHAT??? That's a chick?? No way...that's a man, man! Get the net!

Friggin' 3 Floors!

Yep, that's how many floors the M&M store in Times Square has. Funny, because they really shouldn't have much more than an aisle I would think...

School supplies...

So, I was driving down the street and saw the following sign: Yep...always need those back to school welding supplies. I actually looked at Alison's list for her students and there it was, right between 5 wide-ruled spiral notebooks and a protractor.

Now you know where to go if Target doesn't have your welding supplies...and it's open to the public too! Take THAT members!

Malcolm in the Middle

So, I just sold my season 1 DVD collection of Malcolm in the Middle for $18.50. I know what you're thinking; why in the world did I have a season 1 DVD collection of Malcolm in the Middle??

Well, I think the bigger question is, why in this day and age is someone spending $18.50 for a season 1 DVD of Malcolm in the Middle??

*please ignore the fact that I owned this DVD and join me in mocking G. Foley who purchased it from me. Please?*

What am I missing?

I was looking through my half.com listings and saw this...check out the price I'm selling the CD for and the price the fourth guy is selling it for...one of us is WAAAAAY off!I wonder what the difference is...maybe his was signed...by Jesus?

Friday night!

Here's an e-mail Dan sent me yesterday in regards to our tourney today.

Hey, what are the plans for tomorrow? Should we meet at your house and then head over to the field? I am planning on staying at your place on Friday night. What's your address? What's your favorite color? What was your first pets name?

And my response:

Yeah, that sounds good. Feel free to come over whenever. Alison is taking off for Illinois to move her sister back sometime in the afternoon, so I'll just be sitting here.
1.
7420 Oak Park Village Drive
St. Louis Park, MN 55478
United States
Earth
Milky Way

2.
White (the absence of color)

3.
Fred (he was a newt, named after Fred Flinstone. I later got Barney, named after Barney...Fife, not Rubble, from Andy Griffith. When I got them, my brother got a dead turtle. I forget his name. The turtle...not my brother. His name is Eric. Nelson.

Apparently...

the "Big Stamp" trick doesn't always work, as someone just sent one to me using it and we got a postage due letter. Perhaps it was my blog that made them notice this mistake? Hmmm? Hmmm?

I'm pretty sure...

you can't say you've been to New York until you walk down the stairs to a subway station and there's a big pile of poop right in the middle of the stairs.

On a related note, I have now officially been to New York.

Who knew?

I sure didn't know that any 16-year old girls read cnn.com, much less 6,750 of them! Well, live and learn I guess...

Smiggie Balls

Okay, so my roommate freshman year of college was named Matt Samocki and I gave him the best nickname ever...Smiggie Balls, which was shortened to Smiggie for brevity. Here's how it came about:

Name: Matt Samocki
goes to
Name: The Notorious Sa-Mock-I (three "syllables", like B.I.G.)
goes to
Name: The Notorious S.M.I. (to be more like B.I.G.)
goes to
Name: Smiggie Balls (Biggie Smalls for Notorious, so the SM was there, so flipped that and the B)
goes to
Name: Smiggie (shortened, like Biggie)

Awesome.

Nice helmet...

So, I was out driving around and saw this group of 4 twelve year olds out riding their bikes. And 1 of them was wearing a helmet and the other 3 were normal. However, the one wearing the helmet didn't have the straps snapped, so if he fell, the helmet would just fall off...so he looked like a tool and it wasn't functional...it was like he was wearing a fanny pack with a hole in the bottom...you know what I'm talking about Toast...

Perhaps I should elaborate...

Well, you're probably wondering what in the world I was on when I wrote my post yesterday. I was on Grape Nuts (no grapes...no nuts!)...but that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, the deal was, I was in Target (weird) and I'd boughten (might not be a word...too lazy to check) a Snickers Almond, along with my other groceries (including shoe inserts...not important to the story, just wanted to make sure you knew I care about foot health) and the cashier had handed me the Snickers, as she assumed I wanted to eat it in the car on the way home because I can't wait three minutes to eat it and I would rather eat it while making the world less safe for me and others whilst driving (and dang it...she was right).

So, I tossed it in my right front pocket.

Now, the only thing I ever keep in my right front pocket is my set of keys. So, I know when I grab in there, I'm grabbing key (holler!).

So, I get out to the car, open the locks, put the keys back in my pocket and toss the groceries in the back seat (the trunk is full i you were wondering why I don't put them in the trunk...and it was full even if you weren't wondering) and get in.

Once I was in, I reached in the key (read right front) pocket to get my keys to commence ignition. However, I grabbed the forgotten Snickers Almond instead, without realizing it (it was not a King Size...which I don't even think they make for Snickers Almond).

So, I try to jab the "key" into the ignition and it just felt like I was missing the ignition, so I tried a couple more times...then looked at my hand and saw a mashed Snickers Almond. Then, I thought to myself, "Man, I'm an idiot...glad no one was around to see that..."

Then, I came home, and wrote about it so all 7 of you know how dumb I am now.

Excalibur!

Just not going to work...

I'm just going to tell you, from experience, no matter how many times you try to start your car with a Snickers Almond bar, it's not going to start. You need to use the keys. Live and learn I guess....

John Mayer in an elevator?!?

So, I was in downtown Minneapolis yesterday, in an elevator in the IDS tower when the strangest thing happened. The doors opened and John Mayer walked into the elevator! Seriously!

How often does something like this happen? I mean, for him, probably often. For me...not so much. So, I had to talk to him, because I have some gripes about him.

Brent: John Mayer, you're pretty much a d-bag.
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: Dude, you're an idiot for dropping Jennifer Aniston.
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: And I hate you for ruining Jessica Simpson for the world.
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: Your music blows.
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: Man, you just repeat yourself in person, just like in your craptastic music.
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: Seriously...stop saying that. You're farkin' annoying.
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: I wish there was some way to toss you out of this elevator
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: This has to be the longest elevator ride in the world.
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: Thanks. B-face.

Stupid GPS...

So, apparently satellite coverage is very spotty in Iowa. We were driving back from Nebraska and the GPS kept telling us to get back on the road. As you can see, it thinks we're in the middle of a cornfield or something...and we weren't...at least at that point...

We were actually on that road over to the left, that it wanted us to get back on...stupid technology...