You know what gets my goat? Besides Ted Danson...

When stores/etc ask you for a donation when you're checking out. I mean, if I want to contribute to a charity, I contribute to a charity.

I don't need to send a bag of coffee beans to the soldiers.

I don't even know if the soldiers want coffee.

And if they do want coffee, who's to say they want Caribou coffee?

And if they do want Caribou coffee, who's to say you sent the right kind?

So, basically, by trying to shame me into giving you money to send beans to the soldiers, you could be giving them something they don't really want (like a tent) or something that's the wrong kind (like baseball cards instead of football cards) and all it's really going to do is make them mad and your "nice gesture" has turned into an insult.

Because you're basically sending them garbage that they're just going to throw away, all because you had to try to make me feel like a d-bag for not donating to your "beans for soldiers" campaign.

I might as well take that dollar bill, spit on it, and lend it to Ted Danson for all the good it's going to really do in the world.

Now, you might have realized that I went to Caribou Coffee yesterday and they're running this "Beans for Soldiers" campaign.

If you haven't heard about it, they send...