Real milk...

So, I'm on a plane, flying back, when they bring the "delicious" beverage cart around (and...by the by, while Delta has brought peanuts back (take THAT allergies), they've stooped to not giving you the can when you get pop...give a little, get a little, I guess), I have this weird snob next to me who thought he was Dane Cook (though...with the "joke" you're about to hear, it might have been Dane Cook) and evolved into the following conversation:

Air Waitress: And can I get you something to drink?
Dane Cook: I'll have a black coffee.
Air Waitress: OK.
Dane Cook: Wait...I'll have milk with that.
Air Waitress: OK.
Dane Cook: Wait. Is it real milk?
Air Waitress: Yes.
Dane Cook: OK, good. Because (laughing while talking) powdered milk just won't do!
Air Waitress (very tight fake smile): OK.

Listen up b-hole, no one wants to be on the plane, and no one wants to hear your commentary on what you think is good or not, and no one wants to see you picking that scab on the side of your nose (I forgot to mention, Dane Cook looks nasty). So...stop.

Zebra Cakes?

So, we're sitting around the campfire and the story goes:

Sarvo: Man, one time, on my way back from Kroger, I crushed, absolutely crushed, a case of Zebra cakes. On the ride.
Sikes: Sarvo, do you ever get confused when Zebra cakes come out with their Christmas colors and the Zebra cakes are a different color?
Sarvo: Lots of things in this world confuse me, but one thing that doesn't is Hostess products. I guess snack products in general are pretty easy to understand. I mean, it's not like I got a brain cramp when I realized peanut M&M's weren't the same thing as original M&M's. What do you think of me?

It's true though...snacking food isn't groundbreaking technology...

I've had it...

I think the most annoying new trend in baseball is the helmet toss on your way to homeplate after you hit a walk-off homer. I don't know why, but it just bugs the crap out of me.

You know who started this trend? Do you?

It's A-Rod. That's right...A-Rod.

Gross. Next thing you know, every baseball player will be leaving their wife and taking up with a skeleton, only to be dumped by said skeleton for someone younger and latiner.

I'm just saying...think about it baseball players...is that what you really want?

The Most Powerful Thing in the World:

The Human mind...
And Prayer...
And Belief in yourself...
And Confidence...
And Perseverance...
No matter how many time you do it, you do it right...
And always believe in yourself...
And no matter who’s around you that’s being negative or thrusting negative energy at you, totally block it off because whatever you believe you become.

Don't even act like you don't know what this is from, because if you don't, you might not have been paying attention to the news since last Thursday.

Typically, when someone talks about the most powerful thing, they don't make a list of a ton of unrelated things. But what do I know?

Window Bird...

So, I'm sitting at the computer, minding my own business when I hear a loud, "Boom!!". I jump (and scream like a girl, but that's not the point of the story) and realize that a bird has just dive-bombed into the window.

So, I get up, go over to the window and expect the bird to be looking like a mosquito on a windshield after a road trip (so, I'm kind of looking through my fingers...you know...like when I watch one of the Saw movies).

And I get there, look outside and the bird is just sitting there, looking up at Klyde in the window, like nothing happened.

I don't know about you, but I've run into a glass door before and I cried for at least 45 minutes. And this was the only thing that made me feel better...

Tosh.0	Thurs, 10pm / 9c
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http://www.comedycentral.com/
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Savvy...

So, our neighbors are selling their house. And they decided to have an open house. Guess when they had it?

That's right...on the 4th of July. I'm sure the walkthrough traffic in the house was astounding!

Congrats Sikes!

I want to congratulate Will Sikes for his fourth place finish in the 2009 Mazola Corn Oil National Invitational Race Walk Marathon! Maybe next year you can place! Congrats!

Stupid song...

Seriously, I hate the radio. I hate that we have to listen to it when I ride with Alison. I especially hate that every song they play is either by Kelly Clarkson, Pink or Katy Perry. And I ESPECIALLY hate that I can't get that stupid Kelly Clarkson "I don't hook up" song out of my head!

*sidenote* Really...who would hook-up with Kelly Clarkson? Shouldn't the song be "You won't hook up with me"? Or, "Please let me hook up with you!"? Or, most likely, "I can't hook up unless you're a McGangbang"?

Nice...

So, our neighbor has some old 70's convertible (I have no idea what kind it is, because I know nothing about cars, but I assume it's from the 70's because it's avocado-green and that seemed to be pretty popular at that time, if I do recall...or maybe the 60's...whatever, it's sure not new, I know that) that he LOVES.

LOVES! Every weekend, he sits out there an polishes it. LOVES! For hours.

On Saturday, Alison and I got home about 11:30. He was out there...buffing away. I ignored him.
Then, about 1:30, I went to get the mail. He was still out there, buffing some more. I ignored him.

Then, we left to go to the movies about 3:45...still out there. Doing the same thing. I don't know how he knows when he's done.

We got back after dark, so I can't say for sure if he was still out there or not. I assume yes...

Fawning...

Now, I've mentioned my play on the WIS website before. And I enjoy reading the message boards because sometimes, things like this pop up and make me feel like a big man (you can click on it to make it bigger):