Friday night!

Here's an e-mail Dan sent me yesterday in regards to our tourney today.

Hey, what are the plans for tomorrow? Should we meet at your house and then head over to the field? I am planning on staying at your place on Friday night. What's your address? What's your favorite color? What was your first pets name?

And my response:

Yeah, that sounds good. Feel free to come over whenever. Alison is taking off for Illinois to move her sister back sometime in the afternoon, so I'll just be sitting here.
1.
7420 Oak Park Village Drive
St. Louis Park, MN 55478
United States
Earth
Milky Way

2.
White (the absence of color)

3.
Fred (he was a newt, named after Fred Flinstone. I later got Barney, named after Barney...Fife, not Rubble, from Andy Griffith. When I got them, my brother got a dead turtle. I forget his name. The turtle...not my brother. His name is Eric. Nelson.

Apparently...

the "Big Stamp" trick doesn't always work, as someone just sent one to me using it and we got a postage due letter. Perhaps it was my blog that made them notice this mistake? Hmmm? Hmmm?

I'm pretty sure...

you can't say you've been to New York until you walk down the stairs to a subway station and there's a big pile of poop right in the middle of the stairs.

On a related note, I have now officially been to New York.

Who knew?

I sure didn't know that any 16-year old girls read cnn.com, much less 6,750 of them! Well, live and learn I guess...

Smiggie Balls

Okay, so my roommate freshman year of college was named Matt Samocki and I gave him the best nickname ever...Smiggie Balls, which was shortened to Smiggie for brevity. Here's how it came about:

Name: Matt Samocki
goes to
Name: The Notorious Sa-Mock-I (three "syllables", like B.I.G.)
goes to
Name: The Notorious S.M.I. (to be more like B.I.G.)
goes to
Name: Smiggie Balls (Biggie Smalls for Notorious, so the SM was there, so flipped that and the B)
goes to
Name: Smiggie (shortened, like Biggie)

Awesome.

Nice helmet...

So, I was out driving around and saw this group of 4 twelve year olds out riding their bikes. And 1 of them was wearing a helmet and the other 3 were normal. However, the one wearing the helmet didn't have the straps snapped, so if he fell, the helmet would just fall off...so he looked like a tool and it wasn't functional...it was like he was wearing a fanny pack with a hole in the bottom...you know what I'm talking about Toast...

Perhaps I should elaborate...

Well, you're probably wondering what in the world I was on when I wrote my post yesterday. I was on Grape Nuts (no grapes...no nuts!)...but that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, the deal was, I was in Target (weird) and I'd boughten (might not be a word...too lazy to check) a Snickers Almond, along with my other groceries (including shoe inserts...not important to the story, just wanted to make sure you knew I care about foot health) and the cashier had handed me the Snickers, as she assumed I wanted to eat it in the car on the way home because I can't wait three minutes to eat it and I would rather eat it while making the world less safe for me and others whilst driving (and dang it...she was right).

So, I tossed it in my right front pocket.

Now, the only thing I ever keep in my right front pocket is my set of keys. So, I know when I grab in there, I'm grabbing key (holler!).

So, I get out to the car, open the locks, put the keys back in my pocket and toss the groceries in the back seat (the trunk is full i you were wondering why I don't put them in the trunk...and it was full even if you weren't wondering) and get in.

Once I was in, I reached in the key (read right front) pocket to get my keys to commence ignition. However, I grabbed the forgotten Snickers Almond instead, without realizing it (it was not a King Size...which I don't even think they make for Snickers Almond).

So, I try to jab the "key" into the ignition and it just felt like I was missing the ignition, so I tried a couple more times...then looked at my hand and saw a mashed Snickers Almond. Then, I thought to myself, "Man, I'm an idiot...glad no one was around to see that..."

Then, I came home, and wrote about it so all 7 of you know how dumb I am now.

Excalibur!

Just not going to work...

I'm just going to tell you, from experience, no matter how many times you try to start your car with a Snickers Almond bar, it's not going to start. You need to use the keys. Live and learn I guess....

John Mayer in an elevator?!?

So, I was in downtown Minneapolis yesterday, in an elevator in the IDS tower when the strangest thing happened. The doors opened and John Mayer walked into the elevator! Seriously!

How often does something like this happen? I mean, for him, probably often. For me...not so much. So, I had to talk to him, because I have some gripes about him.

Brent: John Mayer, you're pretty much a d-bag.
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: Dude, you're an idiot for dropping Jennifer Aniston.
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: And I hate you for ruining Jessica Simpson for the world.
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: Your music blows.
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: Man, you just repeat yourself in person, just like in your craptastic music.
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: Seriously...stop saying that. You're farkin' annoying.
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: I wish there was some way to toss you out of this elevator
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: This has to be the longest elevator ride in the world.
John Mayer: Say what you need to say.
Brent: Thanks. B-face.

Stupid GPS...

So, apparently satellite coverage is very spotty in Iowa. We were driving back from Nebraska and the GPS kept telling us to get back on the road. As you can see, it thinks we're in the middle of a cornfield or something...and we weren't...at least at that point...

We were actually on that road over to the left, that it wanted us to get back on...stupid technology...