A game I would be TERRIBLE at...

So, I was looking on Target.com, trying to find a new board game. What I really wanted to get was Outburst. However, the only edidition of Outburst they had was this:




Yep...Outburst: Bible Edition. I'm not sure if there could have been a worse game for me. I have a feeling I wouldn't get one right.

It would be like on the Simpsons:

Ned: Well...?
Todd: I know!
Ned: No, son, we've got to let Bart and Lisa get one. Come on, this one's easy.
Lisa: [pause] We give up.
Ned: Well, guess! Book of Revelations, fire-breathing lion's head, tail made out of snakes...who else is it going to be?
Bart: [unsure] Jesus?
Ned: [yelling] Je...Jes...don't you kids know anything? The Serpent of Rehaboam?
[the kids look blank]
The Well of Zohassadar?
[the kids look blank]
The Bridal Feast of Beth Chedruharazzeb?

Free Obama?

Not to be confused with "Free Hat" from South Park...hopefully:

Louie Anderson does Anytime Fitness ads...

So, I'm watching TV while eating my breakfast when I almost had oatmeal come out of my nose. I was staring mindlessly at the TV when Louie Anderson (yes...LOUIE ANDERSON!!) doing a commercial for Anytime Fitness:

Seriously...LOUIE ANDERSON? The same Louie Anderson who tried to pay a male prostitute $25,000 for sex? That Louie Anderson?

Who was the ad wizard who came up with that one? Who turned them down, Pee Wee Herman? Was Rosanne busy that weekend?

I don't know...maybe I'm wrong. But, for my money, Louie Anderson does not inspire me to work out. He barely inspired me to want to play the Feud and I loved that show!

I'm not sure if there could be a less motivating thing than picturing Louie Anderson doing crunches. Maybe Madonna on the leg adduction machine? (BARF!!)

Damn it...I just gave them their new advertising campaign....

The big reveal...

Well, James went back through his archives and found a picture of me from rush, wearing my bucket hat. And who's that attractive fella next to me? My twin? Hmmmmm...

Late breaking news!!

I'm sorry to break the news to Mr. Billiam Sikes, but his favorite band, Billiam, has disbanded. From Sikes discovery of them on June 17th, 2008 :


until they decided to part on October 28th, 2008 (forever to be known as B-Day), Sikes spent hours and hours watching their videos, learning their songs and memorizing their dance moves.

This one's for you Sikes!

Michael Irvin is stealing from my blog!

Man, it's that time of the year again, when someone decides to steal my blog ideas.

I don't know if you've heard, but Michael Irvin is producing a reality show where the winner gets a spot on the Cowboys training camp roster.

That sounds very similar to my idea from April of 2005, except in mine, it was in an NBA 10 day contract on the line.

I still want my show made. TNT and NBC, I know you got people lurking out there. Make it happen!

and give me a cut of the proceeds

Idiots...

So, Alison and I are in Marshall's, going through their shoe section. And I come upon the following shoe:

Yep, that's right...that's a SIZE 20 SHOE!!!

How in the world did that get there? Are they expecting Ndudi Ebi to walk through the door and need a new pair of kicks? Did someone mean to order a size 10 and accidentally hit the 2 instead of the 1? Or, do they always keep a pair of those in stock...just to say they can outfit everyone at their shoe department?

Regardless, I almost bought them...

Why I love sim sports...

So, I'm scanning the WIS message boards and read the following:

01/18
mojolad
Yah. Nelson is quickly becoming a legend. He reminds me of a great sports star that amidst a small group of the best in their game, rises above and beyond even that group; like Gretzky in hocky or Jordan in Basketball.

Yep...little things like that make me feel awesome in my own little nerdy world...

Hillbilly Dinnerware...

So, I'm finishing up all the old Smart Ones in our freezer, since otherwise I'd have to throw them out, and I'm too cheap for that.

So, I'm looking at the side of the box and see this:

What kind of hillbilly is going to take that little plastic tray they have in there, clean it out and then re-use it to serve different food on? And, if I find that out, I want to party with that guy!

Bermuda Triangle Detector

So, Alison and I are watching the History Channel and there's a story on the Bermuda Triangle. They're interviewing all the quacks and they follow around some guy who made a "Bermuda Triangle Detector".

That's right...a "Bermuda Triangle Detector".

Luckily, YouTube has captured this for you:

Unfortunately, you can't see the label on it. Because it looked something like this:
You know...real official like.

I know what's on everyone's mind right now:

Where do I get my own BTD?????

But, the biggest question is, how in the world did he test it?

Was he just sitting in the lab, pointing it at random objects to see if it went off?

OK, let's get this experiment going. First, I'll point it at the toaster. (silence). OK that checks out. The toaster is not the Bermuda Triangle. Next, I will point it at the TV. (silence). Awesome. As expected, the TV does not contain the Bermuda Triangle. Now, I'll point it at my crotch. (silence) Fabulous! There is NO Bermuda Triangle in my crotch. Whelp. Testing completed. I think I'm going to go play some Q-Bert (points BTD at Q-Bert). (buzzing sound). Holy cow! Q-Bert is the Bermuda Triangle! Wait till I tell Stephen Hawking about this one!!

At least, that's how I assume it went...