Have you read the new Harry Potter?

So, Vanessa (VR) stopped in my cube today to chat about world events, politics, you know, the whatnot. Of course, the conversation quickly got streamlined to more of what America wants; my "love" life. After deciding not to see Katie anymore after 3 dates, Vanessa wanted to know if there were any new ladies on the line. What follows is how the conversation unfolded.

VR: So, there any new ladies on the line?
BN: Nah. I got nothin' right now.
VR: Nothing?
BN: Yeah, Why don't you hook me up?
VR: (long, uncomfortable pause)
BN: Um...so, why don't you hook me up?
VR: Well, all my friends are either engaged or washing their hair, so that won't work.
BN: I see.
VR: See, that's why you should have lived with Paul and Devo. Then Carla could hook you up. She has girl friends.
BN: Yes, she does, but the only two times I've hung out with her, I've made out with girls. Probably not looking like I'm the guy she wants to hook up with her friends.
VR: Yeah, that could be a problem. Well, you could try going to a Barnes & Noble.
BN: Ppphhhh. Right. And what am I supposed to say? Read the new Harry Potter? Get outta here.
VR: Okay. You could try poking around a Blockbuster then.
BN: Ppphhhh. Right. And what am I supposed to say? Seen the new Harry Potter? Get outta here.
VR: (frustrated) Fine. Maybe you could try Sex World?
BN: Ppphhhh. Right. And what am I supposed to say? Have you done it Harry Potter-style? Get outta here.

And people wonder why I'm single. Or maybe they don't.