Milestone...

I used to make fun of those people who would get freaked out whenever they reached one of life's eventual milestones like a birthday, graduation or the first time you ever touched a boob. But now, sitting on my 26th birthday, I think I actually understand what the deal is.

I was sitting in bed last night, thinking about where my life was and feeling pretty confident about everything. I mean, sure, there are things that I would love to change, but all-in-all, I thouth things were going pretty well. And then, I got to thinking about the things that I wanted to change more and the list began and it started to grow like the weight on Kirstie Alley.

So, here it is; everything is going well, except for the following things:

• I have no girlfriend or even any prospects. The last girl I took out was kind of a family friend and now I think there's a chance that she hates me just a little bit. Which is nice.
• I'm in a job that I don't really enjoy, but at least I don't really have any chance for advancement either. Fantabulous.
• I moved back into my parent's basement, so it's like I'm 12 again. This may have something to do with problemo numero uno.

So then, once I thought about those things, I kind of woke up in a cold sweat, in the fetal position, there was "mess" all in my diapers, I was sucking my thumb and crying for my mommy. Luckily, she just lives right upstairs now since I moved back in.

I will now excoriate myself.