Figure Skates...

When I was in college, I used to take a basic ice skating class. And, every morning, we had to line up to get skates. The norm was for dudes to get hockey skates and chicks to get figure skates. That's just the way the world works.

Unfortunately for me, I have weak ankles. Now, as almost no one knows, figure skates offer much more ankle support than hockey skates, so me and my weak ankles were forced to get figure skates everyday.

Now, as if this wasn't awkward enough for me, there was a lady there who made the ordering process an absolute living hell for me. Everyday it was the same thing...

Ice Skate Lady: What size?
Brent: 9
Ice Skate Lady: Hockey skates?
Brent: (drops head in shame) No...figure skates.
Ice Skate Lady: That will be fifty cents.

Until finally I just snapped.

Ice Skate Lady: What size?
Brent: 9
Ice Skate Lady: Hockey skates?
Brent: Listen up you skate whore. Every firkin' day you ask me the same damn question and everyday I have to demean myself to answer it. How about we stop this dance, and you remember that I need figure skates without me telling you, because if you ask me again if I want hockey skates, I'm going to shove that skate sharpener so far up your ass, your lungs will be sharp for the rest of your life. Are we clear? Huh?
Ice Skate Lady: That will be fifty cents there Nancy Kerrigan.
Brent: (jumping over counter to attack the Ice Skate Lady) I'll show you Nancy Kerrigan.

So, the point of the story is...yes, I wear figure skates when I skate...and I might have an anger management problem.