Guest Blog: The Wedding Story 2 w/director commentary

Introducing part two of the Kevin Urban saga, as told by my esteemed pal Justin Petredis. As you all remember, Kevin and Kristen met at the Trete's wedding and spent a "boff" filled weekend over Thanksgiving. Kristen is in the process of moving out to Vegas...and that's where our story begins. As always, I will fill in the details in red where I see fit. Enjoy!

Kristen recently got a job in Vegas. ( I understand it's tough to get a job there. Real hard.) Huber doesn't know where. I assume as a stripper. (Hooking is also legal in the Vegas. That's just an aside...kind of an FYI...not saying anything about Kristen) And she is moving out there on January 16th. (The Lord's Day) That is the date she moves into the condo. (Holy buckets. I wonder what kind of condo they can afford on her hooking...er, stripping salary) Kevin moves in later. Yes, they are living together. (Well...they've physically seen eachother twice...so why not?) They are leasing a condo about 8 miles off the strip. (8 miles??!!? Firk!) Kevin is giving up his nice, although small, apartment that was 1/4 block away from work, and 2 and 1/2 blocks away from the strip to move 8 miles off the strip in with a girl whom he first met drunk for 3 hours, went on a first date throughout the entire Thanksgiving holiday, and has only know for 83 days. I actually counted. (Um...Justin. That's just sad. Might want to keep that one to yourself. And this is coming from the guy who creates fake dialogues to amuse himself)

The last time Urban had a girlfriend, he was a Junior in college. (So...that's gotta be about 8 years...but what about do-rag girl??) I was a sophomore. Her name was Marley. (She sounds...special. Marley, eh? What was she, one of the Ghosts of Christmas?) She was nice. I never saw them kiss. (Not a great slogan for the Petredis Spy School...but I get your point) I think they broke up because he spent much more time with his "friend" Tash. (It's alllll making sense now) The last time she had a boyfriend, well that was the day she met Kevin, and they were living together and had been dating for 6 years. (Well, Kevin is charming) So with his vast experience with women, and the fact that she actually went from boyfriend to boyfriend without being single for one second, this relationship should be filmed for our enjoyment. (This would be a great reality show...rivaling "I Just Boffed Your Daughter" where we put dads into a living room, waiting for their daughters boyfriend to exit their daughters room. Hilarity ensues...)

Kristen is driving to Findley to meet Kevin, then meet Kelly, and Mr. and Mrs. Urban for the first time. (That shouldn't be awkward in the least..though the Urbans are finally glad to find out that Tash was indeed just a friend...) I hope the phrase, "Kevin where did you meet this whore again?" will be used at least once. (We don't know for sure she's a whore...it may be stripper, but I get the gist) His mother seems like a good candidate to drop the "whore" word. (I prefer play the Whore Card, but potato-tomato) I also hope Kelly gets drunk and really tells both of them her thoughts on the subject, because as you and I (and every other man at Miami knows) Kelly is an obnoxious drunk. (This is true...but I can't really say anything, because I have legendary exploits under the influence)

Sidenote: This really sucks. Not that they are getting together, but that Urban now lives 8 miles from the strip. (I concur. I mean, seriously...think of us) We have little incentive to see him now when we go to Vegas. (Nothing like using a man for his pad. Urban is a good egg though...but I loved that apartment) No more crashing for free, unless you want to catch a Taxi for 8 miles. (Nope) No more walking home. Actually no more crashing at his place. I would rather just stay in a bad hotel, but be able to walk to the good places. (Plus, then you wouldn't for sure have to see Kristen, unless you pass the street corner of Las Vegas Blvd and Flamingo...but perhaps I've said too much)