Tyra and ANTM get MORE annoying...

OK, now I admit, I've watched all 10 cycles of this show (and I still hate that they call them cycles instead of seasons). It's not even that good...but I always watch it. I can't stand Tyra Banks. She seems like the biggest biznotch in the world, not named Fran Drescher.

But this "cycle" they've managed to take the annoyingness to Anthropologie-esque heights! Now "Tyra Mail" has always been crap. I used to fast forward through it, but that seemed like a lot of work for my fingies. So, I decided to deal with it.

It always involved a note and some chick reading it. But not anymore!

Now, they have this stupid scrolling marquee that lets all the chicks on the show read what the challenge is, slowly and annoyingly...just like Tyra!!

I can't wait until someone in her production company does the following as a joke on her:

TYRA MAIL: Tyra Banks is a soul stealing ego-maniac who doesn't care about anything but herself and her pies...

After that, she'll probably reveal herself for what she really is and eat the production assistant... ME WANT FOOD!

Eagle Scout Roll Call...

So, I got a letter from the Eagle Scouts yesterday. Thankfully, my parents never pressured me to be in scouts (or is it Scouts?), but then again, do any parents really pressure their kids to be in scouts?

Regardless, what follows is the letter, along with my snide comments...good times...hopefully you're like Petredis and you're wearing your bi-focs while reading this... or you could just click on it to maximize it. Whichever is easier and/or more stylish for you...

Hayden Panettiere's Whale of a President...

Hayden Panettiere is basing her vote on whichever candidate is going to help save the whales.

At first, I thought this was stupid. I mean, who cares? But then, I started thinking more about it and realized it actually was stupid!

I wasn't wrong to begin with! And that's not normal. So, I've decided to come up with an asinine voting strategy to counteract her asinine voting strategy.

So...Presidential hopefuls, I am going to be voting for whichever one of you declares that they will not rest until they have destroyed all the whales!

Take that Hayden Panettiere! You fool!

Or I'll probably just vote Libertarian like I normally do. Stupid whales...

Anthropologie...

So, Alison and I are sitting at Green Mill tonight, enjoying our Diablo wings, when the following happened:

Some Lady: Oh my gosh, I love you shirt.
Alison: Thank you!
Some Lady: I know where you got that! Anthropologie, right?
Alison: Yep! Everyone can find something at Anthropologie. Right, Brent?
Brent: Yes indeed. I often find I want to shoot myself in the brain when I'm at Anthropologie.
Some Lady: Ummm...well, anyway, I love your shirt...

And that's why they try to not let me out in public...

John Quinones has done it again!

We were watching Primetime: What Would You Do? last night, when they did the most annoying thing known to man. No, they didn't allow Tyra Banks to speak. It was even more annoying than that.

They had one of their segments where some dude had spinach in his teeth and they were checking how many people would tell him about it (I know, I know...quite the breathtaking study. Maybe next time, they'll have someone drop a fork when someone is passing by and see how many people stop to pick it up).

Anyway, they were showing this when John Quinones says:

"And over 27 people came in and none..."

Over 27 people? Obviously, there are one of two things here:

1 ) You counted and know exactly how many people came in (the most likely scenario)
2) You're guessing how many people came in...

But why-oh-why in the name of Bowflex (up to 405 pounds...or more) wouldn't you just use the exact number or guess a round number? Seriously...some people.

I dislike you immensely John Quinones....

Is He Cheating on You?

OK, so I'm scanning MSN.com, trying to figure out if a coffee maker is, in fact, worth $11,000, when a headline caught my eye:

9 financial signs of a cheating spouse

These are 9 things from the book "Is He Cheating On You? 829 Telltale Signs," by Ruth Houston. And the first thing that they list on there is:

1. Credit card statements that reflect charges for flowers, jewelry or other gift items that the spouse did not receive.

Wow. Really? If your spouse is sending flowers and jewelry to someone else, they might be cheating? Please, tell us more Ruth Houston!!

Crip, what was number 2? Probably something like:

2. Your spouse tells you they are cheating on you.

With advice like that, I can only assume it's tearing up the book charts on Amazon.com. Let's get a quick check:

Amazon.com Sales Rank: #476,818 in Books

Go Ruth! You the man!

Here's an idea for your next book:

And look, we also have the first page!

You owe me royalties Ruth Houston!!!

Urban Outfitters...

So, Alison was scanning through the Urban Outfitters catalog (only Emilio Estevez would know why) and came across the following shirt and asked me if I liked it:

Of course, my answer was "Butt no." But then I got to actually looking a little more closely. You may only see a craptacular t-shirt that you can't actually wear out in public, lest you become the butt of jokes for teens and adults alike, but you need to look closer. Go ahead...closer.

OK, I'll point it out for you:

That's right, this POS shirt that you can't wear anywhere besides under some other shirt is going for $32.00! And that's before shipping...and taxes...

And they probably wouldn't have it in there if no one was buying it, so someone in this world is so dumb, so dumb, that they think:

a) This is a cool shirt

2) They should buy it

d) It's worth over $32

Who are these people? And where do they get correct change?

Dateline: 10 Scariest Escapes from Death...

As you can tell from the title, this post has to do with the show Dateline: 10 Scariest Escapes from Death.

So, Alison and I are watching this, being amazed at the goings-ons that were...um...going on. Dang, that sentence sucked. Whatever.

Now, we typically watch Dateline because it's pretty entertaining, but this time, it was pretty annoying.

Every time they would stop for a commercial break, it would cut into the middle of a story and the host (I don't remember her name, it was some chick and it looked like she borrowed John Lennon's wig) would say something along the lines of:

Did he make it? Find out...after this!

Of course he made it!!!!!! Otherwise, it would just be called Dateline: 10 Scariest Ways to Die and they could have just saved the escape from the title to use in another story (such as Dateline: How to Escape from Chris Hansen's Sexual Predators).

Seriously though...way to keep us on the edge of our seats! Us and all the other morons couldn't change the channel, since we had to see if these idiots (such as the people who bungee jumped off the 200 foot bridge) made it.

I had double crosses the whole show!!!!

Bad Call Foam Brick?

So, I was at Target yesterday and something on the Clearance rack caught my eye. It was called the Bad Call Foam Brick:


Now, I don't know how in the world this relates to a ref missing a call. It's a brick. Kind of. And it's made of foam. And how in the world does it make you "get even" with a bad call? I mean, what in the world do you really use this for?

With the brick, it seems like you're saying, "Ref, you missed that call, would you like this fun-filled novelty foam brick so you can...um...pat the sweat off your forehead...the sweat you're sweating because you...um...made a bad call! You suck! Bricks rule!!"

Maybe if it were the Bad Call Foam Glasses, it would make sense; "Ref, you missed that call, would you like these fun-filled novelty foam glasses so you can see the correct call next time?"

But that makes a little too much sense. GO BRICKS!!!

HOLY CRAP CNN!!!

**A SPECIAL SATURDAY BLOG**

I went to CNN.com yesterday to get a market update and this is what it said:

I added the DAMN! (obviously) because seeing that almost made me poodle a little bit...