Is it really a choice?

Hmmm...which would I want?

It's almost as tough a choice as their other raffle:

Take THAT Marty Crawford!

So, when my dad was growing up, there was a neighbor down the street (Marty Crawford) who got a new color TV. Now, this was the new thing back then, so they wanted to show off their astounding good fortune, so they left the empty box in the front yard to let everyone know they had a color TV.

Fast-forward to present day Maple Grove. I have a neighbor down the street (I don't know their name because I'm anti-social and do not converse with my neighbors) who just got a new grill. So, apparently, this might be Marty Crawford's family since they've decided to leave the empty grill box in front of their house for the past week.

I know what you're thinking, it's good to show off a nice grill. I know that...you know that. However, I wouldn't consider this a nice grill. It doesn't even have fins for wind resistance or a racing stripe to make it look sharp!

Throw your trash away Marty!!

America's Best Value Inn - Galesburg, IL

So, we're heading down to Galesburg this next weekend (congrats to Ja and Andy on the impending birth) and I had to check out some hotels.

So, of course, I start looking for the cheapest I can find and then look at the reviews. This place was $40/night. So...do you think the 4th review is the owner or what?

RIP Bea Arthur

As you may or may not know, Bea Arthur passed away on Saturday at the age of 86. My thoughts are with her family.

Also, as you may or may not know, I have kind of an obsession with Bea Arthur. My goal was to name our dog (when we get one) Bea Arthur so, when he (yes...he) pees in the house, I can yell, "Bea Arthur, stop peeing on the floor!!!" I've also mentioned her in no less than 5 blog posts throughout the years, including talking about naked pictures of Bea Arthur (thank you Airheads) and mentioning how hot Bea Arthur used to be when she was younger when I was in Duluth (enough said).

But, apparently, I didn't understand how many people cared about my obsession. Here's how my Saturday went:

3:30 pm: My mom called to inform me of the news of Bea Arthur passing. I hadn't heard anything, so I whipped over to CNN.com to read about it. Nothing had been posted yet. My mom beat CNN.com to me with the news. Wow.

3:42 pm: CNN.com posts their story.

8:01 pm: Devo sends me an e-mail to see if I was doing okay after hearing the news of Bea Arthur.

10:52 pm: Vance sends me an e-mail, informing me that we have lost yet another Golden Girl.

11:31 pm: Kevin posts on my Facebook wall, in a wailing tone, "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" I can tell he's as distraught as I am.

So, there we have it...4 independent people came to me and told me Bea Arthur died. That's strange. I can only imagine what's going to happen if something were to happen to Emilio Estevez or Keanu Reeves!

I can't read...or are I?

So, I'm playing PathWords (PathWords is the new WordTwist...check it out) and I see one of the famous Facebook ads on the side and I think it's about Pirates so, I look at it closer:

Nope, turns out it's not about Pirates at all...turns out it's about another ad that a company is paying for where they have a misspelled word in the ad. Come on...PIALTES? Really?

Regardless, I'm thinking of going there...

Man 1: So where can we shoot this picture?
Assistant: [holding a map of the US] We need a city that has a nuclear reactor, and a gorge, and can guarantee us the full cooperation of city officials.
Woman: I'll check "Variety". [flips past "Film New York", "Film Texas", and "Film Utah" ads]
Assistant: Wow! Look at that ad! [a small box with "Flim Springfield" in it] All right, this place must be hot. They don't need a big ad, or even correct spelling.
Man 1: I agree with that logic.
Assistant: [into intercom] Get me two plane tickets to the state that Springfield is in.

Spellcheck?

Alison got the following ad in her e-mail. I mean...come on man...speelcheck...

The Usual...

So, last week, I got my usual summer dooskie (that's right Kell...Brent steals sayings...), which is a buzz cut, because everyone knows I'm too cheap to go see Steph more than once a year, and I can do this myself. It is what it is.

Well, yesterday, I was in Alison's classroom and one of her students came up to me and imparted this wisdom on me:

"Brent, your haircut looks bad."

Thanks dude. Thanks. Don't get into an insult battle unless you're ready to cry. Next time...I'm bringing fire!

So...

I'm reading On Wings of Eagles by Ken Follett (I know...I know...next thing you know, I'll be watching Mr. Belvedere and listening to Wham!) and I'd never heard anything about it, but it's an autobiographical account of some guys arrested in Iran.

Anyway...not the point. The point is that the main "character" is ROSS PEROT!! Yes...THAT Ross Perot! Mister CanIFinish!

Now, obviously, I don't have a clue. When Perot ran for office, I thought he was just some crazy Texan with oil money. Turns out he was a FAMOUS crazy Texan with computer money.

I can barely even read the book once I saw he was in it. All I can think of is stuff like this every time I hear his name:

Thanks Dana Carvey

Note to self...

when a food's smell is described as "dicey", it's best not to plunge forward and eat it.

Well, guess we found out who's gross...

Someone was outraged over my post from yesterday. This person, who I will call Justin P (no wait, that's too easy to figure out, I will call him J Petredis) had an issue with this, since he loves to sit on his back patio and clip his toe nails and watch them suckas fly...as you can tell from this IM conversation:

You disgust me...