Nice...

Very nice of Davis to let his 12-year old son name his company...

Take THAT chair!

Yeah, who's in charge now? That's the LAST time you EVER make fun of me! D-bag!

Oversized, Novelty stamp?

So, I got one of those packages of "Forever" stamps that have 20 stamps on them and then one large "receipt" style stamp that tells you what you purchased (which you can see to the right).

So, I wanted to run an experiment and see if you could actually use this big, fake stamp as an actual stamp. I mean, it comes off the paper, just like a regular stamp and it says forever on it, and it says First Class.

What's that you say? It's obviously not a stamp? Well, what is obvious to you, might not be obvious to someone else. Maybe.

So, I decided to send the letter to the left here to Petredis to see if it would make it to him. I included a letter, explaining what was going on, but I didn't expect it to get to him.

Then, after a couple days of waiting, I got an IM from Petredis that went like this:

Justin: so i get home yesterday late, and Jacq is there in the kitchen
Brent: go on...
Justin: and she says, "your friend Brent is an idiot"
Justin: and I say, well yes, but how do you know
Justin: "do you see this, (shows me your envelope) this is not a stamp"

Unbelievable! That oversized, novelty stamp actually goes through as a stamp! Now, I start to wonder if they'll take anything you put up in the corner. Could you draw a smiley face and put "Forever" next to it? Sounds like it might be time for more experimenting...

1 Night in Paris Hilton

Apparently, it's a pretty reasonable rate...and has a heated pool!

Did you expect something else?

Listen up liars...

Now, as you may or may not know, Wendy's has new "Boneless Buffalo Wings" which sound, in theory, good.

However, what they fail to mention is that they are actually just their chicken nuggets covered in sauce. For $1.50 more than their nuggets with a side of sauce.

So, I ordered them, not knowing what was to come...and I watched in horror as saw them make them:

First, they grab a container. Then, they toss some of the "wings" in the container. Next, they take two bottles of "flavor" and spray them up and down the "wings". Then, they put the top on and shake them up like they were making shake 'n bake (and I helped). Next, while you're jaw is on the counter realizing the scam they just ran on you, they hand them to you with a smirk that's basically a middle finger, letting you know you just got f'd in the a and you're not getting that $1.50 back.

Listen up Wendy's. You can't put urine through a coffee maker and get Folger's Crystals. Yum, yum...

Alright...

So, since I know people like to read this stuff (and make fun of my nerdocity), I'll start posting it anytime I see it. Without ado...more fawning over my WIS acumen!

Seems a bit on the high side...

I refuse to believe that over 2,ooo people were "caught up in the coverage of the solar eclipse." Honestly, that shouldn't have even made the news. For real...

Bachelorette Guess...

So, a couple nights ago, they had the Men Tell All on the Bachelorette. The third place guy, Reid, was not there because Chris Harrison said he had a "prior engagement".

I'm saying the master, Chris Harrison, is foreshadowing that Reid is going to end up engaged to Jillian and comes out of nowhere to win the game and get to enjoy all of her "personality".

Nice placement...

So, every time I drive home from the Gym, I pass a box that has Star Tribune's for sale in it. (you can see it from two different angles as I drove past it...the one on the right is heading towards it and the one on the left is looking back at it from a stop sign).

I've always thought it was the weirdest place for a newspaper box, seeing as it's attached to a speed limit sign in the middle of a warehouse district, with absolutely ZERO foot traffic around it. Who's going to stop while going 35 to pick up a newspaper. Or so I thought...

Then, yesterday, I was coming home and there was actually a Subaru (that should have been my first sign that the person was an idiot) parked next to it and a s/him (sex was unknown) was reaching in and pulling out a newspaper.

Which means, maybe that's why all the newspapers are going out of business. Perhaps they're only putting their papers where people might actually want to buy a newspaper, instead of putting them in the middle of nowhere where the odds of someone actually buying a paper are zero.

Looks like Pluto (sorry other planets, newpapers only deliver to other non-planets) is going to be getting a newspaper box in the very near future!

Awesome video...

So, this interview, about getting a free AK-47 with a truck purchase starts off about that fact, and then totally delves into something else (click on the picture to be re-directed to CNN.com for the video)...

Stupid maggots! They have no souls!

This was great. Great. "What, you don't believe in God?" Awesome.

Hmmm...

Yet another item from the Kobe ad...

No soup for you! 3 months you come back!

Dang stereotypes

So, we get this ad from the local Japanese steakhouse:

Free Deliver? $30 up?

Who'd they get to proofread this? City Wok Guy?

*I know...I know...different stereotype...but I drew a blank*

She is going to dominate!

I just hope she doesn't need to borrow any acne cream from Zack and Screech...

Real milk...

So, I'm on a plane, flying back, when they bring the "delicious" beverage cart around (and...by the by, while Delta has brought peanuts back (take THAT allergies), they've stooped to not giving you the can when you get pop...give a little, get a little, I guess), I have this weird snob next to me who thought he was Dane Cook (though...with the "joke" you're about to hear, it might have been Dane Cook) and evolved into the following conversation:

Air Waitress: And can I get you something to drink?
Dane Cook: I'll have a black coffee.
Air Waitress: OK.
Dane Cook: Wait...I'll have milk with that.
Air Waitress: OK.
Dane Cook: Wait. Is it real milk?
Air Waitress: Yes.
Dane Cook: OK, good. Because (laughing while talking) powdered milk just won't do!
Air Waitress (very tight fake smile): OK.

Listen up b-hole, no one wants to be on the plane, and no one wants to hear your commentary on what you think is good or not, and no one wants to see you picking that scab on the side of your nose (I forgot to mention, Dane Cook looks nasty). So...stop.

Zebra Cakes?

So, we're sitting around the campfire and the story goes:

Sarvo: Man, one time, on my way back from Kroger, I crushed, absolutely crushed, a case of Zebra cakes. On the ride.
Sikes: Sarvo, do you ever get confused when Zebra cakes come out with their Christmas colors and the Zebra cakes are a different color?
Sarvo: Lots of things in this world confuse me, but one thing that doesn't is Hostess products. I guess snack products in general are pretty easy to understand. I mean, it's not like I got a brain cramp when I realized peanut M&M's weren't the same thing as original M&M's. What do you think of me?

It's true though...snacking food isn't groundbreaking technology...

I've had it...

I think the most annoying new trend in baseball is the helmet toss on your way to homeplate after you hit a walk-off homer. I don't know why, but it just bugs the crap out of me.

You know who started this trend? Do you?

It's A-Rod. That's right...A-Rod.

Gross. Next thing you know, every baseball player will be leaving their wife and taking up with a skeleton, only to be dumped by said skeleton for someone younger and latiner.

I'm just saying...think about it baseball players...is that what you really want?

The Most Powerful Thing in the World:

The Human mind...
And Prayer...
And Belief in yourself...
And Confidence...
And Perseverance...
No matter how many time you do it, you do it right...
And always believe in yourself...
And no matter who’s around you that’s being negative or thrusting negative energy at you, totally block it off because whatever you believe you become.

Don't even act like you don't know what this is from, because if you don't, you might not have been paying attention to the news since last Thursday.

Typically, when someone talks about the most powerful thing, they don't make a list of a ton of unrelated things. But what do I know?

Window Bird...

So, I'm sitting at the computer, minding my own business when I hear a loud, "Boom!!". I jump (and scream like a girl, but that's not the point of the story) and realize that a bird has just dive-bombed into the window.

So, I get up, go over to the window and expect the bird to be looking like a mosquito on a windshield after a road trip (so, I'm kind of looking through my fingers...you know...like when I watch one of the Saw movies).

And I get there, look outside and the bird is just sitting there, looking up at Klyde in the window, like nothing happened.

I don't know about you, but I've run into a glass door before and I cried for at least 45 minutes. And this was the only thing that made me feel better...

Tosh.0	Thurs, 10pm / 9c
Extreme Salvia Challenge
http://www.comedycentral.com/
Daniel Tosh Miss Teen South Carolina Demi Moore Picture

Savvy...

So, our neighbors are selling their house. And they decided to have an open house. Guess when they had it?

That's right...on the 4th of July. I'm sure the walkthrough traffic in the house was astounding!

Congrats Sikes!

I want to congratulate Will Sikes for his fourth place finish in the 2009 Mazola Corn Oil National Invitational Race Walk Marathon! Maybe next year you can place! Congrats!

Stupid song...

Seriously, I hate the radio. I hate that we have to listen to it when I ride with Alison. I especially hate that every song they play is either by Kelly Clarkson, Pink or Katy Perry. And I ESPECIALLY hate that I can't get that stupid Kelly Clarkson "I don't hook up" song out of my head!

*sidenote* Really...who would hook-up with Kelly Clarkson? Shouldn't the song be "You won't hook up with me"? Or, "Please let me hook up with you!"? Or, most likely, "I can't hook up unless you're a McGangbang"?

Nice...

So, our neighbor has some old 70's convertible (I have no idea what kind it is, because I know nothing about cars, but I assume it's from the 70's because it's avocado-green and that seemed to be pretty popular at that time, if I do recall...or maybe the 60's...whatever, it's sure not new, I know that) that he LOVES.

LOVES! Every weekend, he sits out there an polishes it. LOVES! For hours.

On Saturday, Alison and I got home about 11:30. He was out there...buffing away. I ignored him.
Then, about 1:30, I went to get the mail. He was still out there, buffing some more. I ignored him.

Then, we left to go to the movies about 3:45...still out there. Doing the same thing. I don't know how he knows when he's done.

We got back after dark, so I can't say for sure if he was still out there or not. I assume yes...

Fawning...

Now, I've mentioned my play on the WIS website before. And I enjoy reading the message boards because sometimes, things like this pop up and make me feel like a big man (you can click on it to make it bigger):