Voodoo curse...

So, I'm doing terrible at fantasy football this season. Awful. Now, stupid LJ has gotten himself benched and Jonathan Stewart is on a bye. So, I'm going to have to start Antonio Pittman (back-up to Steven Jackson) and Derrick Ward (back-up to Brandon Jacobs) at RB.

But both of them have been a little banged up and it looks like Jackson might miss some time. So, I wanted to help them out.

I googled "voodoo curse chant" to see if I could easily come up with a voodoo curse to put on Steven Jackson and Brandon Jacobs that is not time consuming, using a minimum of cauldrons and, most importantly, is effective.

So, it took me to Spells4Free to cast a spell on someone.

I got there and looked at the list of items needed to cast a spell on someone:

Cloth
Mud
Sticks
Pins
Incense sticks
Black candles
Black kohl
An object belonging to the person in question

Damn it! I just got rid of my Steven Jackson authentic jock strap and I'm plumb out of black kohl (I only have white kohl left...and that's not racist...that's a fact).

So, I looked around the site to try to find something easier and I came across an item where the guy will cast a spell free...just for me. Then, I read the fine print:

"I will cast a powerful spell for the situation you need help with. Free of charge. This is not a joke! I have digged deep into my books of shadows to cast free spells to help you with your situation! A powerful spell, that would cost from 100 US-Dollars, if purchased from any other spells caster. Use it and solve your problems within 5 weeks! Now I will give you this for free when you sign up for my newsletter!"

5 Weeks? Damn it! And I don't want to go to any other spells caster, because I don't have 100 US-Dollars (I believe in the peso).

Screw it. Maybe I can get this loser and his 2-liter of Diet Squirt to put a curse on Steven Jackson and Brandon Jacobs...