So, the moral of this witty tale is I decided to write her a long, drawn out e-mail, set on a pirate ship, in the form of a movie script. Now, for your reading pleasure, I will post that e-mail here. (For all those wanting to know, Alicia will not be attending Dan's 4th 'o July-palooza)
Without further ado....
EXT. SPRINKLER DANDY - MAIN DECK - NIGHT
Lit by lanterns; no moon is visible beneath the fog. Smoke hangs heavy above the deck. ALICIA'S longboat is raised above the deck rail -- pirates spot her, and stare. One polite fellow stepsforward to offer his hand. She takes it and steps down. She huddles, self-conscious in her nightgown and dressing robe.
An imposing FIGURE in silhouette stands by the wheel. The silhouetted figure moves toward the stairs. A cloud of SMOKE obscures him -- and then, as if he skipped the stairs, he strides out of the SMOKE on the main deck-This is BRENT. Despite the bright colors of clothing, definitely not a man you'd want to meet in a dark alley -- or anywhere, for that matter.
Lit by lanterns; no moon is visible beneath the fog. Smoke hangs heavy above the deck. ALICIA'S longboat is raised above the deck rail -- pirates spot her, and stare. One polite fellow stepsforward to offer his hand. She takes it and steps down. She huddles, self-conscious in her nightgown and dressing robe.
An imposing FIGURE in silhouette stands by the wheel. The silhouetted figure moves toward the stairs. A cloud of SMOKE obscures him -- and then, as if he skipped the stairs, he strides out of the SMOKE on the main deck-This is BRENT. Despite the bright colors of clothing, definitely not a man you'd want to meet in a dark alley -- or anywhere, for that matter.
BRENT
Ahoy young Alicia. I see by your robe that the terror
alert level has reached level Mauve. Very scary indeed.
ALICIA
What the hell am I doing on this ship? What's going on?
BRENT
(cowering in fetal position, with one eye covered, forming
what is known to all as a Pirateball)
I had to pitch you a question in a long, drawn out e-mail.
ALICIA
Well, your e-mail has failed to amuse me, but it has been long.
Go ahead and ask away.
BRENT
Arrrrrggh you going to Dan's house for the fourth of July?
It shall be a Jolly good time, with mirth and merriment for all!
ALICIA
(rolls her eyes, undoes her shackles and jumps the plank
into the shark invested waters)
BRENT
(with a befuddled look on his face)
Arrrgh. I'm not going to lie. I don't know what to do with that.
THE END
FADE OUT and CREDITS ROLL
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1 comment:
Amazing!!!
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