Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Tampa Bay

Thanks to Will Sikes for pointing out this article:
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Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Tampa Bay

CLEARWATER, Fla. (AP) — Wildlife officials said a rhesus monkey known to throw feces when mad is on the loose in Tampa Bay. Authorities have been trying to capture the primate since Tuesday afternoon, but it managed to evade a bucket truck and tranquilizer dart.

Gary Morse with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says the adult male is thought to have escaped from an unlicensed source. It was last seen in Clearwater.

The monkey is not considered dangerous.
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I think there are two things wrong there:

1) Since when do you send a bucket truck to capture a monkey? A bucket truck? If I had been the one in hot pursuit of this poop monkey, I would have used a banana truck. BANANA TRUCK! Monkeys like bananas, not buckets. Mooncalves.

2) And this monkey is not considered dangerous? Since when is poop to the eye not dangerous? Pink-eye people. Pink-eye!!