Apprentice XII

Since numerous people have requested it, I will now do the Apprentice updates in a running clock fashion, similar to Bill Simmons. And when I say numerous people requested it, I mean no one. Since I’m 94% sure that no one reads any of my Apprentice recaps. They’re kind of like Saved by the Bell: The New Class; you know they’re there, you just don’t care.

8:00 – recaps blow.

8:04 – Chris is going to stay more in control of himself. Hell, he quit chewing for two days; I don’t see why this can’t happen. What’s the over under on how fast he explodes this episode? 25 minutes?

8:13 – Chris is a moron.

8:14 – Wow, Trump steals an idea on that Domino’s commercial and makes it his own. Hmmm…just like real life. Maybe on the next commercial he should marry a pizza and divorce it ten minutes later.

8:17 – Doesn’t WT stand for White Trash? Won’t this be confusing for the consumer? Think about it. Would you name it PMS for Portable Magic Systems? No!

8:21 – Where was that card? How did it take that long to find it? Why don’t they answer these questions now?

8:24 – God this show is wearing on me. This recap is making me bored and so is the show. Man, I could go for a donut right now.

8:27 – How can you miss the presentation? Seriously, there’s only like two things you had to do the whole time; design some clothes and make the meeting. Christ, even a 4 year old can do both of these.

8:32 – Ohhh…this is painful to watch. This is the worst speech ever. Holy hell, Miss Finkenhaur would have given her an F plus. Terrible. Awful. Great balls of fire do they suck.

8:41 – I think the whole Net Worth team is terrible. I couldn’t fire as many of you as I wanted to, but I did fire one.

8:48 – Angie is judging the model just because he forgot the jacket. Sweet dumb-model voice too.

8:52 – I thought that Michelle woman was Helen Keller-esque at first. I can’t believe she finally talked.

8:57 – Well, Chris survives again. Nice. Whatever. Kendra is still gonna win. Rock and Roll.