Things I Learned in Duluth

Evan Williams does not take any prisoners.

Four dollar pitchers of Long Island Iced Tea are not a good idea. The man who came up with this promotion needs to be shot. I can’t say this often enough.

“He turned the stare and creep into the creep and take pictures.”

“Where’s that huge bitch? I gotta get a picture of her!”

Girls do not dig it when guys talk to them about their favorite websites. It frightens them and they create Bugs Bunny holes in the wall while trying to escape from you.

Some people are way too good at making togas.

"Did you take a bite out of my muffin?"
"If only someone would have taken a picture of it, we could get to the bottom of this mystery."

A house can never have too many couches.

A party is not a party unless there is rap music playing. Who wants to listen to John Mayer?

Bea Arthur used to be kind of hot when she was younger.

The triple cheeseburger at Wendy’s is very delicious but it is too much for one man; especially when you combine it with about a gallon of E-Dub later in the night.

“I saw you last night.”

“He seemed pretty cool; he let me take his picture.”
“Then I guess the whole bar seemed pretty cool last night.”

Circus performers have business cards.

Do not talk to girls about the internet!! I can not stress this point enough.

Having a wandering eye does not make you more attractive.

Some people keep a mattress in their living room. What for, I don’t know, but it sure turned out handy.