Nightmare on Elm Street 52

Freddy Kruger and Udeze the Unicorn were sitting in Johnny’s Hot Spot, a little dive bar hidden away in old town Spokane. Johnny’s was just about to close up shop for the night when the most unexpected thing happened.

After years and years of torturing children, Freddy had finally met his match. Though he’d been rejuvenated more times than the cast of Saved by the Bell, this was the time he finally met his end. It all started innocently enough.

“Get me and my buddy here another shot of E-Dub!!” Freddy hollered at the bartender as he wrapped his arm around Udeze’s neck. The bartender didn’t argue. Though he thought the two of them had had enough, you don’t ever mess with Freddy and you sure as hell don’t mess with Udeze. Hell, the bartender didn’t even want to see Udeze, much less make him mad.

“Thanks for the shot. That was great of you. Hopefully I can return the favor sometime Seal.” Udeze said as he staggered to the side a bit. He wasn’t feeling too hot and this last shot probably wasn’t going to help. But the burned man had bought it for him and he couldn’t just turn down free booze.

“You know what. I’ve never seen a Unicorn before in my life.” Freddy stammered at Udeze. Freddy had been shocked earlier in the evening when he walked into Johnny’s and had spied the unusual creature.

“Well, we normally go to Tony’s down the block but I went here to look for a little action. They say the horn attracts the ladies. Apparently, they’re wrong.” Udeze complained as he looked around and lamented the fact that he had no ladies.

“Seriously though, I have never seen one of you guys ever! I thought you were extinct!”

Udeze bristled at the suggestion. Unbeknownst to Freddy, unicorns were actually mythical, like Winnie the Pooh and Andrew Lloyd Webber. They are also known for an extremely aggressive temperament and are hard of hearing. All of these are things that Freddy wished he knew before he made his innocent comment.

All of the sudden, Udeze bucked his front legs high into the air like a wild stallion. This caused Freddy to tumble to the ground, spilling his drink in the process. Freddy looked up into Udeze’s eyes and all he saw was pure hatred.

Udeze started to drive his front legs into the ground as if a race were just starting; at that exact moment, Freddy was on his knees and working his way to a standing position. Just as Freddy took a breath, Udeze drove his horn into the center of Freddy’s chest and out his back.

Freddy’s heart hung off the horn like a plastic necklace off a three year old. Freddy slowly slumped to the side as the life left his body. Udeze shook his from head side to side to get Freddy’s body to drop off of his horn. Freddy crumpled down to the ground and sunk into a ball.

Udeze looked at the terrified bartender. “Ask him who stinks now.” Udeze cried out as he spit on Freddy and galloped out of Johnny’s.