The girl I was seeing just broke up with me via e-mail. Via e-mail! Granted, we did meet on the internet, but we had been out 8 times. Doesn't that require a face-to-face breakup? Aren't there some guidelines posted out there somewhere? Didn't Miss Manners have a column on this? Unbelievable!
And she gave me the old "I want to pull away before I hurt you" routine. What the hell? Really? I can't even fathom this. But I should have seen it coming. This isn't the Red Sox coming back against the Yankees after being down 0-3. It's more like the Blue Jays sweeping the Royals; you know it's a definite possibility; you're just not sure if it's going to happen.
(I can not describe how happy I am to be living with Paul and Devo next year. For those of you who don't know, Paul is essentially a babe magnet and, since he has a girlfriend, there has to be some babe run-off I would think. And where does the babe run-off go once is falls off Paul? That's right...the roommates! Word! And, hopefully Carla can be a little bit of a hook-up...as long as I didn't creep her out too much in Duluth. I say too much, because I know she had to be a little creeped out :) Now, I've gotten all off subject. OK, back to my dating prowess...)
So, now the official score is not in my favor. Add this to my string of other unsuccessful dates over the past year and the relationship scorecard (this card has been verified and sealed with the proper approval of a U.S. magistrate while he balanced himself on the hump of a one-eyed camel) is not looking too hot.
I have had two one month relationships and a smattering of dates. I'd like to think it's all them, but eventually, you need to look in the mirror and say something might be wrong with you. But, my mirror just tells me I'm gorgeous! It also says I'm modest, so it may be a lying rat bastard, but I don't know for sure.
But, such is life, it will eventually turn around. I should make an infomercial.
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