...if you still have a Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker on your car; the election is over, so get over it.
...if you burned your head this weekend and complained to everyone about the oozing coming out of it; no one wants to hear it.
...if the gold in your mouth is worth more than many Americans houses; seriously, think of something else to do with your money.
...if you know the difference between a Light Saber and a Light Sabre; the force may be with you, but I'm willing to bet there aren't too many chicas.
...if you think I stole this bit from Jeff Foxworthy; you're right, but don't be such an ass to me.
...if you give yourself your own nickname; dude, nicknames are given to you by friends or enemies and you're a total douche if you nickname yourself.
...if you think bowling is a sport; hell, I love bowling, but have you ever seen a 'Beer & Pizza' football league?
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