Why??

Right before I go to bed, I always have different strange thoughts, like who would win in a foot race, Bam-bam Rubble or Elroy Jetson (Bam-bam would win) and why did Zack take Kelly back even though he knew she would cheat on him again (ummmm...she's hyper hot...that's why).

So, the other night, I'm laying there, trying to fall asleep. Then, I start to wonder, who would I choose to date if both Keira Knightley and Natalie Portman both wanted to date me. What a dilemma! I didn't know what to do, and I started getting worried that if I didn't choose one, they would both find better options (I know, I know, you're thinking 'Better options? Please Brent.' But believe me, there may be better options out there than me) so I had to figure this out quickly.

I did a quick run-down of cons and pros of each of the lovely ladies. It went like this

Keira Knightley

• Con - British
• Pro - Wicked hot
• Con - Uses the word 'fat cow' to describe herself
• Pro - Looks like Natalie Portman
• Con - Only 19
• Pro - Only 19
• Con - Would probably make me live in British-land
• Pro - Might have a castle in said British-land

Natalie Portman

• Con - Vegetarian
• Pro - Wicked hot
• Con - Way into religion
• Pro - Hyper smart, since she went to Harvard
• Con - Wants to give up the acting, which would leave The Brent out of the spotlight
• Pro - Looks like Keira Knightley
• Con - Wants to live in Israel
• Pro - Might have a castle in Israel

In the end, after that exhausting list, I looked at the clock, saw it was 4 a.m. and realized that I'd just wasted 4 hours trying to figure out the answer to a question that was never going to be asked anyway. Swat that. So, I went to sleep.

(I ended up picking Natalie Portman for all those keeping track. The British thing and the Vegetarianism cancel each other out, and they look very similar. The deciding factor was that I think there's a much greater chance that Keira Knightley let's herself go once she reaches her mid-30's. It's more of a gut-call, but I'm normally right on issues such as these. It's good to have talents. Go Bacon!!)