DiCapprio...

As most of you know, celebrities feel that they can push their thoughts and feelings on us and we should do what they do, because they're 'famous'. (I use the term famous here rather loosely because people from the Real World also do this) They tell us how to think and feel on a variety of topics, ranging from who to vote for, what kind of bread to use, to what kind of dog we should have that we can carry around in our pocket. (I'm looking at you on this one Hilton)

Regardless, Leonardo DiCapprio is making the rounds currently. You may remember him as the troubled boy Luke who Mike helped mentor in Growing Pains. Apparently, he feels that everyone in the world should share his views (not unlike Michael Moore) so he is going around, preaching what he feels is right. (Like Michael Moore)

Here is an excerpt from a speech he just gave at Ithaca College. It has been edited to cut down on the coarse language for our impressionable readers:

"Hi, my name is Leonardo DiCaprio. You may remember me from such films as Gangs of New York and The Man in the Iron Mask. But I'm not hiding behind a mask today, because I'm here to discuss with you the important issue of...fuel conservation!

Everytime you drive your crappy, American-made car, a puppy dies. You don't want to kill puppies, do you? You know else liked to kill puppies? Hitler! So, essentially, anyone who drives an American-made car is emulating Hitler. Which is no good for anyone.

And everytime you fill up your gas-powered car with...um...gas, an Angel's wings are taken away! That's right! While you're paying $2.15 a gallon, Beelzebub is stripping wings off poor, defenseless Angels. You people make me sick! I can hardly look at you. Everytime I see one of you, I throw up in my mouth a little. I wish you would all die so we could re-start the world with enviro-savvy people!

The point? You want me to get to the point? Here's the point, you low-rent, no TV starring, washed up, has-been.

You. Joe America. Go get yourself a Renault Clio Electrique like me and save a puppy while letting an Angel keep its wings, ya stupid yankee bastards! Viva la France'!! Oh, yeah, you should have voted for Kerry, because I did and I was in Titanic.

I am so out of here. Later losers..."

Oh, on a separate, related note, I hate Michael Moore. If hate were people, he'd be China!