Bag O' Coupons

OK, so Alison and I are at Hell last night (and, as you all know, Hell is Target when there are 14 million people at night and only 6 registers open) and we're getting ready to check out.

Like a good Boy Scout, I run down the line of registers, looking for the line that is shortest to get me out of this place and in front of my TV ASAP.

So, I stumble upon a line where the woman is just paying, but I notice that it's a moron I saw in the store earlier. She was walking around, talking on her cell phone in Russian or German and laughing like Kendra; I knew she was an idiot just from that. I'm going to call her "Idiot Russian or German Butt Lady" (or IRoGBL for short) for this story.

But her conveyor belt was clear, so there's no way she could mess this up. Plus, all the other lines had people backed up. So, I started to unload our stuff; little did I know, this woman had coupons. Good times.

Now, I have nothing against coupons. I'm as cheap as Willie Aames, so I like to use them too. But, like a normal human being who is not a giant dink, I have my coupons ready to be scanned so I don't hold up society.

Here's how this woman's process went:

Cashier: Do you have any coupons?
IRoGBL: Well, let me see.
IRoGBL: Reaches into a huge Bed, Bath & Beyond bag and pulls out about 45 coupons
Cashier: Looks at her in amazement
IRoGBL: I have this one, and this one, and this one.
Cashier: Scans the coupons in
Cashier: Um, ma'am, you didn't buy this product.
IRoGBL: Yes I did. You already put it in the bag.
Brent: Looks over her shoulder, sees it's a coupon for Cheerios from Cub
Cashier: Um, all right. Whatever.
IRoGBL: I know I have more coupons.
IRoGBL: Reaches back into the bag and pulls out 75 more coupons
IRoGBL: Here. I have this.
Cashier: Looks at the coupon
Cashier: Um, ma'am, I don't even think they make NO FEAR T-Shirts anymore.
IRoGBL: It's okay, just take the coupon off.
Cashier: Fine. Whatever. I don't care.
Cashier: Okay, your total is $74.52.
IRoGBL: $74.52? Okay, now let me get my checkbook out. What store am I at again?
Brent: starts taking his stuff off the conveyor belt and putting it back in the cart to try another line

I hate people...