Moronic passenger...

So, Alison and I are flying down to Arizona. We're sitting in the airport, minding our own business (and by minding our own business, I mean we're eavesdropping on conversations to stifle the suffocating boredom of waiting for a plane) when I overhear a conversation that, in my mind, is immensely moronic.

This girl, I'll call her Moronic Girl (MG), was talking to some friend on the phone (Cell Phone Friend aka CPF), who I have to assume was mean and sarcastic. So, I only actually heard what MG was saying, and everything that CPF says is what I am guessing she said. It went something like this:

MG: Yeah, I'm just sitting here, waiting for my plane.
CPF: You are soooooo stupid. By the way, 1985 called and it wants its pink tights back.
MG: So, like anyway, I'm in row 42. Is that near the back of the plane?
CPF: My God, could you be any dumber? Seriously, if stupid were people, you'd be China.
MG: Doesn't even matter if I'm in the back, because they always put the cool people in the back of the airplane.
CPF: Yep, that's what I heard too. They put the cool people in the back of the plane. Amazingly enough, Northwest Airlines has created a formula to figure out how cool you are when you buy your tickets. I'm sure you'll be back there with Kenny G, Miles Davis, Willie Aames and Joey McIntyre. Idiot.
MG: Where is Arizona anyway?
CPF: I'm hanging up now, because that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. That is so stupid, it makes my fingernails hurt. If I could jump through this phone right now and poke your eyes out with the antenna, I would.

Hmmmm....I like the way this Cell Phone Friend thinks and talks and I might want to subscribe to her newsletter....