Aimlessness...

Whatever happened to Crystal Pepsi?

How much fun is a barrel of monkeys? Does the ratio of monkey size to barrel size play any part in the equation? Do the monkeys have to be alive? Can you squeeze extra fun out of them by stuffing more barrels in the monkey? Is this the same barrel you shoot fish in?

Though the spork is a great invention, wouldn’t it be eight times better if it were called a foon?

What is the deal with Papa Smurf? Where was Mama Smurf? Did she run away when she had all those kids? Were they just created, kind of like the Toxic Avenger? Did Papa Smurf spank them when they were bad? And how were the Smurfs supposed to breed? Smurfette was the only female, so she would have to mate with all her brothers. Was that why the show was cancelled? Can’t they bring the show back to primetime in Smurfs: The College Years? Would anyone not want to watch Brainy Smurf get beaten up by the hockey team and Grouchy Smurf complain about his English Literature class? I can’t believe no one has done this yet!

For no reason: Akash Srivastava

How did Teri Hatcher make such a triumphant return from the dead? It’s like when you hit a deer on the side of the road and all four of it’s legs come off, you assume it can’t be alive. But all of the sudden, it’s using its stumps to move it over towards it’s legs and re-attach them. That’s Teri Hatcher.

Can you have too much ketchup with your French fries?

Whatever happened to the Metric system taking over the …um…current system we use that is not the Metric system (Go memory!!)? I remember back in third grade, there were rumors around that we were going to have to switch systems and I was scared like Nick Anderson at the free throw line. What became of that?

Just for the hell of it: Aaron Lee

Where did the phrase “cute as a bug’s ear” come from? Though bugs in general are cute, I doubt that their ears are any cuter than the rest of their body. To delve deeper into this, I attended the 1st annual “Bug’s Ear” conference held in Helsinki, Finland. To sum of the three days of presentations, it was discovered that the bug’s ear actually was cuter than the rest of the bug due to the intricate arching of the macaphibius glands. See, in the bug, the glands are swollen up to twice the normal size, which creates a flower effect, making the ear look like a rose. All in all, it was a very interesting weekend.

Can corn be your favorite food? Is that allowed? Has anyone ever answered the favorite food question with corn? Isn’t that like saying your favorite TV show is the Weather Channel or your favorite baseball player is Marty Barrett?

Is there anything that can happen out on the Strip in Vegas where you would be shocked it’s happening? If a naked midget walked by with a monkey on his shoulder and the monkey was juggling chainsaws, would you really bat an eye?