Menards 11% off...

So, Menards has a promotion going where if you clip one of their coupons you get 11% off of anything in the store. This is apparently a pretty big promotion. Their newest commercial features some guy who gets so excited when he finds the coupon, he runs to the store in his pajamas and then gets the Alex Rodriguez “I Can’t Believe This is Happening" Face when he realizes he has to walk all of his primo 11% off purchases back to his house because he forgot his truck. This commercial looks almost like Kevin Smith filmed it while he was filming Clerks. Yet, it was on during the Super Bowl. The Super Bowl! And that’s not even the strangest thing.

The strangest thing is “Why 11%”? Is that the stupidest thing you've ever heard? How in the world would they ever come up with a promotion to have an 11% off coupon, much less make it their biggest promotion in years? Who was the ad wizards left in charge while that decision was made? Do you think the CEO stayed home one day to take care of his dog because he ate some bad steak, and when he came back in, he found that this was decided and had gone to the presses?

Or maybe they were sitting in a marketing meeting and some new guy with a bad tweed jacket goes "Hey, how about we have a coupon for…uh…like 10% off?"

Then, the Marketing Director looks right at Tweed Jacket and starts nodding his head slowly. “Yes. Yes. That’s good. I like that. I like it a lot. Tweed Jacket, that is a fantastic idea. But why stop at 10%? If America loves 10% off, and I’m sure they will, then they’ll go crazy for 11% off! It's 1% better! Kids will be telling their grandchildren about this day. We can have a parade, with streamers and mimes and possibly two people dressed up as the number 11!"

Tweed Jacket chimes in “…Because of the 11% off?”

The Director points at Tweed Jacket, “Exactly!”

Everyone stands up slowly. Tweed Jacket starts a slow clap. The others around the office join in as the clap starts to get faster and louder. Faster and louder, until the whole room is like Forbes Field during a Steeler’s game.

Then, some intern interrupts "Uh…What about 12%?"

The clapping immediately stops. There's dead silence in the room. Tumbleweed casually blows by, as the Director looks right at the intern. The Director bellows "Pack up your stuff and get the hell out of this building!"

The intern leaves and then they all celebrate with orange slices and Capri-Suns, as the Director mumbles to himself “11%. 11%. Yeeesssss!”

I’m pretty sure that one of those two things had to have happened. That and I assume the CEO is also that drunken old guy that used to be on their commercials. Now that was a pitchman. He was like the Michael Jordan of selling outdoor supplies. Spicy. Either way, this has to be about the stupidest marketing campaign since Pepsi had Michael Jackson try to sell soft drinks to little boys.