Friday, February 25, 2005

Why I hate Reggie Fowler...

There are three kinds of truths in this world...

Truths
Half-Truths
Reggie Fowler Truths (aka...lies)

What is the deal with this guy? Let's count down what he has told the media since he took over as "owner" of the Vikings a week ago.

1. He played in the NFL (He played in the NFL as much as Ricky Martin has played in the NFL)

2. He played collge football (in fact, he had as many plays on the field as I did in college)

3. He played in the Little League World Series (Seriously? Why would you lie about that? Does that impress anyone? Next thing you know, he's going to be saying how he was on the Walter Mondale campaign)

4. He's not trading Randy Moss (yet, all of the sudden, Moss is a Raider. Sweet)

Why does he keep lying like this? It's like he's turned into Tommy Flanagan.

"No, I've not had enough dessert...er...I mean, I'm not going to trade Moss...Yeah, that's the ticket!"

Here are some other things he's probably going to lead us to believe over the coming weeks and months...
  • He invented the internet, not Al Gore.
  • He was the fifth Beatle, but they kicked him out for "not being British enough."
  • He helped found N.W.A. but they kicked him out for "being too British."
  • He was on the grassy knoll.
  • He was the original Buckwheat, before it got all "political."
  • He invented pants.
  • Soup was his idea.

Here's one thing I hope he utters in the next week or so...

"I have every intention of moving the Vikings out of Minnesota."

At least then we'll know the team will stay put for a long, long time...

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